Despite playing Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy – a character with very limited vocabulary – Vin Diesel consistently manages to let slip Marvel Cinematic Universe details in press junkets or Facebook Live videos. While promoting xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (a title I advise you to search for in full on Google rather than ‘xXx Vin Diesel’ or ‘xXx action scene’), he criticised Marvel for dropping Inhumans from their release slate (a film in which he was rumoured to be starring), and revealed a Groot spinoff movie “is inevitable.” If so, it better be a largely non-verbal comedy set on Planet X, with all the characters’ dialogue being variations on “I Am [Enter Name Here]”.
Doctor Strange 2 is similarly inevitable (especially based on the film’s ending), but Marvel are apparently too busy to green light the sequel right now. How does director Scott Derrickson propose lightening that workload? By saying he wants to see Fantastic Four back at Marvel. Because that won’t take several years of brand detoxification.
Deadpool has rejuvenated faith in 20th Century Fox’s superhero properties, though. So much that even a lacklustre X-Men: Apocalypse did little to harm the X-Verse’s appeal. Taking Deadpool’s Rated R cue, Logan will officially contain “strong brutal violence and language throughout” and “brief nudity”. Which will almost definitely be Huge Jacked Man’s naked buttocks – who had some very interesting teases on where the film sits in the X-Verse’s confusing timeline. Hugh Jackman, that is. His naked buttocks didn’t tease that.That was a super intense crossfit session.
Aside from Rogue One passing $1 billion at the global box office, and Woody Harrelson potentially letting slip who his Young Han Solo movie character is, not much else happened in Star Wars news this wee-DUNNNNN DAAAA DUN DA DUN DAAAAA DUN DUN DIUND UN DDAAAAA DUN DUN DOO DA DDAAAAAAAAAAAa!
Episode VIII now has a title: the immediately cool (if you ask me) The Last Jedi. Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill, liked it. Everyone agrees it’s awesome…apart from Flickering Myth’s resident curmudgeon Anghus Houvouras, who explains why he isn’t impressed.
The aforementioned xXx: Return of Xander Cage managed to earn over $70 million at the worldwide box office last weekend, but missed out on the domestic top spot to M. Night Shyamalan’s Split – prompting Anghus to wonder if we still want a sequel to the director’s arguably greatest work, Unbreakable. Unfortunately, few will be asking for a sequel to Ben Affleck’s Live By Night, which is set to lose $75 million.“Hello Darkness, my old friend…”
Sadly 2017 has inherited the trend of beloved actors passing away. John Hurt – famed for a long career in film, starring in Alien, The Elephant Man, Nineteen Eighty-Four and more – died age 77 after battling pancreatic cancer.
In an awkward change of tone to play us out, though, here’s the most recent Power Rangers trailer recut to the original show’s theme tune.
May the Movies be with you.
The above was an excerpt from the weekly Flickering Myth Super Newsletter. We told you that on page one, remember? Subscribe here to avoid a grizzly death*.
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