Do you sometimes get your Evening Gown matches mixed up with your Bra and Panties stipulations? Or maybe you don’t know the difference between a Falls Count Anywhere match and a Street Fight?
The answer to the latter is ‘jeans’.
Well good for you – WWE have finally decided to clear up all the confusion with The Official WWE Book of Rules (And How to Break Them). I’ve actually got an advance copy right here…*picks up book*…
…that’s weird, there’s only one thing on it: Roman wins.
One rule that should definitely be included is ‘don’t betray your best friend and break my heart.’ Then maybe Kevin Owens turning on Chris Jericho could’ve been averted. After being taken to hospital – wait, my bad…*consults WWE Rule Book*…a local medical facility – Y2J has made his first post on social media since the vicious beat down, sharing an image of better times at the start of the Festival of Friendship, with the caption “Pre-betrayal…WWERedWedding”.
That’s not the only Game of Thrones reference going around in WWE at the moment. Speaking on AfterBuzzTV, Lana has revealed her Dolph Ziggler romance storyline from 2015 was actually based on Cersei Lannister, as Vince McMahon is such a big fan of the show.
Vince infamously watches hardly anything outside of his own WWE product, so it’s very peculiar to find out he keeps up with Game of Thrones. I mean, apart from the occasional hardcore match and Braun Strowman lookalike, there’s nothing wrestling-based in there that would appeal to hi-
Wait, no, there’s incest. There’s a lot of incest.
The newest addition to the WWE roster Samoa Joe has spoken to Eyes on the Game about how his good friend CM Punk reacted to him getting the call up:
“I remember for years he was championing my cause for coming to WWE, and to see me now he was like ‘oh, of course, the minute I’m gone, you’re here now.’ Between me and him, it’s always been a very interesting relationship. We’re kind of like brothers that fight all the time.”
Hornswoggle used to be very friendly with Punk, but the two have since fallen out. In a shoot interview with the excellent KayFabe Commentaries, the ex-WWE star has explained what happened, as transcribed by WrestleZone:
“I am not in touch with [CM Punk] today because I offended him. I asked for a phone number of a mutual friend that we have from him, which is odd because it wasn’t like he didn’t like the person. He’s still best friends with that person today. He saw it as me using him, we were best friends on the road together for years, but not anymore.”
When asked who Hornswoggle has the most heat with in WWE, he answered:
“Just CM Punk being a dickhead. I never called him out on it, it wasn’t worth it, I just didn’t care anymore to call him out on it. For a while, we were very close, though.”
Matt Morgan wrestled for WWE from 2003-2005 and for TNA from 2007-2013, with a one off match in 2015 before announcing his retirement. But going by his recent Instagram post, The Blueprint might be returning to wrestling. Where exactly, I have no idea, because he name-drops practically every major promotion.
What pop culture characters would you adapt into wrestling gimmicks? Just keep writing Adam West’s 1966 Batman over and over again in the comments down below.