Oli Davis rounds up the biggest professional wrestling news in his daily WrestleTalk column…
When Satire Becomes Real
On this week’s Smackdown, Jinder Mahal revealed the stipulation for his third WWE Championship match against Randy Orton: the dreaded Punjabi Prison. ‘Dreaded’ because the matches in it are usually pretty rubbish.
While a Steel Cage stipulation only has one layer of entrapment, the Punjabi Prison surrounds its competitors with two – an inner cage of bamboo, with an octagonal structure topped with ‘razor-sharp bamboo spikes’. It’s so successful, there’s only been two Punjabi Prison matches in WWE history, and the stipulation hasn’t been used in over a decade.
But according to satirical wrestling website KayFabe News – who publish humorously fake articles – this has been the plan all along.
Reddit user GeePrimus has unearthed a 2012 article from the site entitled: ‘Jinder Mahal only hired so WWE can use Punjabi Prison again’.
“We spent a goddamn fortune on that thing,” reads a 2009 memo from WWE Chairman Vince McMahon to senior staffers, referring to the 25-foot-tall bamboo setpiece. “Find a new Indian guy so we can use it again.” Mahal has yet to have a match inside the oversized structure — apparently because “doing it too soon might look a tad racist,” according to the leaked documents.”
Well done, wrestling. You’ve become your own satire.
Summerslam Main Event Changed
Soon after Jinder and Orton’s Punjabi Prison clash at Battleground lies the next of WWE’s Big Four pay-per-views: Summerfest!
The long-reported and teased main event for Summerslam has always been Braun Strowman vs Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship, but according to the latest Wrestling Observer Newsletter, this changed a few weeks ago – and it’s most likely Lesnar vs Roman Reigns.
If that’s the direction WWE are heading in, it means the main event plan for Wrestlemania 34 has been brought forward a whole nine months, possibly to combat Raw’s sliding ratings, giving Monday nights a more frequently appearing Universal Champion in Reigns. It could also potentially set up a new big money match for Wrestlemania 34: Roman Reigns vs ‘free agent’ John Cena.
Or Roman could lose at Summerslam, setting up a bigger rematch against Lesnar for New Orleans.
Dave Meltzer notes, however, that there’s an outside chance Samoa Joe could be added to the Summerslam main event, as his feud with Brock heading into Great Balls of Fire has impressed WWE officials.
Scott Steiner Shoots On Triple H
One man who definitely won’t be getting an invite back to WWE’s biggest show of the year, though, is TNA Impact Wrestling’s Scott Steiner.
In a conference call to promote his Slammiversary match with Josh Mathews against Joseph Park and Jeremy Borash, he called previous TNA President Dixie Carter both “a joke” and “a mark,” claimed he slept with 15,000 women in a single year (which I’m pretty sure works out as 33 ⅓ plus 66% women a day, math fans), and described how he would make professional wrestling great again:
“The first change they should make is getting rid of Stephanie McMahon and Hunter McMahon, because they’re two idiots who are running the whole place up there…the reason why I call him Hunter McMahon is because she obviously wears the pants.”
Impact Wrestling Acquires GFW
And in more Impact Wrestling news, the company has ‘acquired’ Jeff Jarrett’s Global Force Wrestling promotion. Whatever that means.
Check back on Flickering Myth every day for round-ups of the biggest professional wrestling news…