2 Jacks, 2012.
Directed by Bernard Rose.
Starring Danny Huston, Jack Huston, Sienna Miller and Jacqueline Bisset.
SYNOPSIS:
Jack Hussar is a legendary Hollywood director, whose persona commands respect and adoration from his fans. Can his son, Jack Jr. maintain his legacy?
Bernard Rose may be well-known for cult horror Candyman and Beethoven biopic Immortal Beloved, but that was twenty odd years ago. Despite using a Tolstoy short story as inspiration, this diabolical piece of detritus is unforgivable. In my opinion you would have more fun watching food decompose, than waste an hour and thirty minutes of your life on this pap.
Everyone here has done better elsewhere. Sienna Miller sashes around in a 1920’s get up looking pretty and playing up to Danny Huston. A man fighting turgid dialogue and Troma levels of production, while son Jack gibbers away like it was an ‘Am-Dram’ revival of Rent.
Filmed on digital with no discernible framing, editing or hint of professional polish 2 Jacks should come with a health warning. It possesses the ability to simultaneously erode IQ’s and make you feel unclean. Like a drunken one night stand, that need to scrub yourself after those final credits roll never goes away. Sullied and soiled after watching something comparable to a ‘Krankies’ sex tape, 2 Jacks begs the question why?
As each moment ticked by and I experienced each brain cell bursting second of this celluloid carnage, I was reminded of Gene Hackman in Get Shorty. Harry Zim was the king of exploitation flicks and a creation Elmore Leonard revelled in. At least with that film it was meant to be a comedy. Lines were funny, plots were interesting and the actors engaged. This frontal lobotomy of a feature would be something you play to insomniacs who don’t respond to strong drugs.
Using poorly lit exteriors and a narrative with the dexterity of Thalidomide victims at dinner time, 2 Jacks sucks any joy from the room with ease. A talent which no doubt took many months, lots of money and more than one or two gullible studio execs. In the old days when people wanted to waste money they invested in Delorean prototypes or Laker Airlines. They knew how to burn through cash and did it with flair. Here then is a prime example of something with all the drama of an ‘Andrex’ advert and production value of blood poisoning. Which is ironic since a tetanus shot is the only thing I can recommend after this film; apart from something else obviously.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Martin Carr – Follow me on Twitter
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