Luke Owen on last night’s episode of The Apprentice 2012…
After 11 weeks of “fish out of water” antics and slight sexism, market stall salesman Adam has taken the taxi ride of shame back to the North of England.
I think it’s been a long time coming for poor Adam. From day 1 it seemed as though he was being pegged as the stooge who would just be there to ‘not get’ things, provide some comedy relief and then be sent packing by week 4. Only it didn’t quite go that way. Adam was always at the forefront of every task and even though pretty much everything was ‘out of his comfort zone’ he never shied away from it or used it as an excuse. That being said, his final hurrah in this competition ended as little more than a whimper.
This week’s task saw our final few candidates create a ‘luxury brand’ which they would test out on potential buyers and then pitch to them (and Lord Sugar) the following day. The team with the best business plan would win the task. Now this task is a little bit more like what I want to see from this series as, fundamentally, this is what they are all trying to do to win the show. All the other tasks still feel like leftovers from the old format which means they can’t show off the candidates to their possible full potential.
With Wrestler Ricky Martin all on his own having had his two teammates fired last week, posh-but-not-posh Tom was moved over to join him. Adam was appointed Project Manager by Lord Sugar and Ricky nominated himself to be Project Manager for him and Tom. Wrestler Ricky Martin and Tom decided that, because they both like to look good, they would throw their hat into the male grooming demographic while the other team reckoned that people like chocolate so they’ll just make that.
This simple and not very well thought out choice would be the starting ground for a lot of simple and not very well thought out choices for their team. Within the first 15 minutes of this show it was so clear how out of his depth Adam was in this process and just how tired the man had become. Both he and 12 year old Nick couldn’t come up with one good idea between them which left it all in the hands of Jade and her 40-a-day smoking habit. She came up with the name, product range, flavours, design and branding whereas Adam’s only input was that they should make jellys and saying “yes” whenever Jade suggested something.
Wrestler Ricky Martin and Tom on the other hand had their product well in hand. Ricky Martin went off to get the product sorted while Tom was in charge of the branding. However this did lead to a Nick Hewer comment that made me shout at my TV when he said that Ricky should have gone to the branding as that was the most important element. Now, that as may be for this task (they weren’t being judged on product), but the last few times that Ricky has focused on the branding and not on the product he lost the tasks and was lambasted for it in the board room! Try as that boy might, he just can’t impress Nick or his furrowed brow.
The two teams went for stark differences in the way they presented their shop windows. While Adam’s luxury confectionery company Sweet Things (which is a great name by the way) was bright and colourful, the duo’s Modern Gentleman grooming range went for a minimalistic design with varying different shades of grey. You know the colour grey, you tend to find on colour charts next to the words ‘dull’, ‘boring’ and ‘ZZZZZzzzzzzzz’.
The following day saw our candidates display their products for the masses and mystery industry experts to test out. However I don’t think the industry experts were all that difficult to spot as they showed up in suits and asked about business plans – way to keep it subtle guys. Everyone seemed to love Team Adam’s sweets and were looking to be having a great time while everyone looked slightly bored and uninterested over at Wrestler Ricky Martin’s gaff. It looked like it would be all over for the walking quote machine, until it was time for the pitches.
Just as they had done with the shop windows, the two teams took a very different approach when it came to the pitches. While Wrestler Ricky Martin and Tom planned out their strategy, researched the market and put a lot of thought into the pitch, Adam and his merry band felt it would be better to wing it and not rehearse anything. Good going guys, I’m sure that will work out fine for you.
As you can imagine, it didn’t and their pitch was an utter disaster. No research, no strategy (Azarh would be so disappointed) and no plan. It was just a complete mess that exposed Adam for the poor leader and businessman he is as well as fresh out of uni Nick who flustered his way through the pitch. Even Jade, who has impressed me a lot over the last few weeks, put in a poor showing.
So back in the board room Lord Sugar discussed what they did wrong and what they did right. For Adam’s team it was a good product with a bad business plan and for Ricky and Tom it was a forgettable product with a great business plan – making this week another week of who was the bigger loser.
Turns out it was Adam’s team who was sent to the Sad Face Café while Ricky and Tom got to go and continue their newly found bromance back at the house. In the Sad Face Café, Adam pointed the finger at Jade for reasons I’m not quite sure while the others blamed him. In the final showdown of the night, Adam pointed out (quite rightly so) that Nick has “fluked” his way into the semi-final and accused (not rightly so) Jade of not knowing anything about business. Jade pointed out (quite rightly so) that Adam was a terrible project manager on this task and completely lost control. And Nick echoed (quite rightly so) that Adam didn’t lead well but then said (not rightly so) that Jade was not a good businesswoman and the spa deal that won them the task last week was more or less down to him. I couldn’t quite believe my ears that this jumped up One Direction reject had the temerity to claim such a thing when the whole show is being filmed and shown to the public who saw what really happened. On top of that, Lord Sugar pointed out to him that he once ran a luxury coffee brand successfully but didn’t overly suggest they pursue the idea. A luxury coffee shop, y’know, like what they were asked to do for this task!
But it was Adam who felt the Finger Point of Doom and took what I’d imagine was a very expensive taxi ride home. But was it the right choice?
Ultimately, yeah it was. Adam has been out of his depth for quite some time now and although he is a good salesman and has a lot of enthusiasm, he just wasn’t that great of a businessman. Jade was once again very good this week (she could even win the whole show) and while Nick made some outrageous claims, he did what he was told and he could see the task failing before it had even failed. However this does mean he has the power of premonition, but not the skills to overcome it.
So the good news is that my boy Wrestler Ricky Martin has made it to the final! He has been doubted by many but I knew he had what it takes to get to the final interview. He is going to be destroyed and humiliated next week and it will make for fabulous television.
Yes next week is by far my favourite week of The Apprentice – the interviews. We get to see Claude and his miserable bald face point out every plot-hole in their business plans and CV and the return of Lady Margaret Manford – the woman Karen wishes she was. It’s all well and good us simpletons not in the business world to point at them and say they’re silly, but when actual business people do it, it just seems funnier. The final is this Sunday so you don’t even have to wait long to see who wins. Here are my thoughts:
Wrestler Ricky Martin – As much as I like this bloke, he has been fairly rubbish. He never learns from his mistakes and then makes whole new ones. He is a fantastic pitch but has not shown much in the way of creative thinking. I can see Claude is going to have a lot of fun with the “reflection of perfection”.
Posh-But-Not-Posh Tom – Was very quiet at the start but has become something of a possible contender. He seems to have the business smarts one would need as well as some creative thinking. In terms of competition, I think he may be the one to beat.
40-a-Day Jade – She has really grown on me in the last few weeks. It took me a while to get past her voice but I genuinely think she has a chance of winning this show. It all depends now on whether her business plans is any good.
One Direction Reject Nick – People keep calling him a dark horse but I think Adam got it right – he has lucked his way into the final. Across all the tasks I don’t think he has shown anything worthy of note and I think this “technical entrepreneur” is going to be exposed for the fraud he is.
See you on Sunday – remember to tweet me during the show @CGLuke_O
Apprentice Advice of the Week: For the love of god, plan a pitch you morons. It really helps when it comes to doing the pitch.
Quote of the Week:
Lord Sugar: You own a coffee shop?
Nick: A high end coffee shop.
Lord Sugar: A high end coffee shop?
Nick: Yeah, you could say it was similar to the brief you asked for…
Nick showing us exactly why he doesn’t get how this show works.
Top Tweet of the Week: “our target market is absolutely everyone”. I don’t think that Adam has really grasped the meaning of the word “target” #theapprentice – @andrewfenner
Luke Owen is a freelance copywriter working for Europe’s biggest golf holiday provider as their web content executive.