Luke Owen looks as the first episode of a new series of The Apprentice…
It’s that time again. For the next 12 weeks, 16 deluded business people will make utter tits of themselves for our entertainment in an effort to win a £250,000 investment from the Finger Point of Doom, Lord Sugar.
The other highlight of team ‘we’ll try our best, honest’ was Dracula lookalike Alex who has the freakiest eyebrows you’ll ever see. I’m not convinced anyone has ever said that he looks like Freddie Mercury, but he licked his eyebrows which makes him a hero in my eyes. But if it wasn’t for him, then Bopping Tim would have been my favourite member of the team with his non-stop raver movements that reminded me of a Super Punch-Out!! opponent.
Mel B also closed a deal on novelty cups only to find that he was a mere shop assistant and he needed to ask for an adult. She was not having a good day.
Back in the board room, Lord Sugar Daddy did his usual rights act where he pointed out everything they did wrong while rarely praising them for stuff they did right (which was very little). The teams discussed how Tory MP didn’t actually Project Manage (guess who spearheaded that conversation?) and how Mel B was more of a cheerleader than team leader in the usual ‘you took the role of Project Manager so you’re in line for the chopping block’ routine. Neil showed that he was an utter tool, Alex got Neil’s name wrong and Leah again showed she was level headed by standing up for Nose Stud who called people “darling”. It was your usual first episode board room fodder.
Luke Owen is one of Flickering Myth’s co-editors and the host of the Month in Review show for Flickering Myth’s Podcast Network. You can follow him on Twitter @LukeWritesStuff.