Red Stewart delves into why Bayformers was really that bad…
It’s been close to four years since the latest Michael Bay-directed Transformers film, and yet their legacy lives on. Bay decided to imbue these flicks with dumb insults and crass humor, and so his work deserves to be critiqued forever. Here are five of the worst scenes in the Bayformers franchise (and if you’d prefer, you can check out the article in video format at the bottom of the post)…
#5. Carly’s Entrance – Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Remember when Transformers was a kids franchise? Remember when Transformers was supposed to be about Autoboots fighting Decepticons in a grand space war? Well, apparently Bay forgot about all that when he decided to use this property to get his petty revenge on Megan Fox. The best way to do that? Sexualize new star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and her film counterpart Carly, a character who actually existed in the Transformers lore.
Sexist, despicable, and downright immature, it proved that we weren’t going to get significant improvements from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
#4 Dogs Humping Each Other – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
What in the world was anyone thinking? Did no one, the writer, the cinematographer, the assistants, heck the freaking dog handlers, think to tell Bay that maybe it isn’t a good idea to include a scene of two dogs grinding each other in a film about giant robots from outer space? I don’t think we even have to go into detail here- the concept, execution, and result all speak for themselves.
#3. The Romeo & Juliet Law – Transformers: Age of Extinction
Are we going insane? Did we actually see this atrocity in a PG-13 movie revolving around the extinction of a race of sentient automatons? We’re referring, of course, to the part in Age of Extinction where it’s revealed that Cade’s (Mark Wahlberg) underage daughter is dating a 20 year old guy. His defense? In the State of Texas, he’s protected by a Romeo & Juliet law that somehow allows these kinds of relationships.
That Cade doesn’t beat the crap out of him is one thing. That it was somehow decided an overlong movie about giant robots needed a statutory rape joke is a second thing. That someone in Hollywood actually took the time to research these specific laws is genuinely disturbing.
#2. Wheelie Humps Mikaela – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
At least with the dogs, you could make the argument that these animals were simply exerting their natural instinctual tendencies. I know, it’s a lame apologetic, but cut us some slack- it was the best we could come up with.
But why would a fully sapient robot do this? Why dry hump a human’s leg? There were plenty of creepy ways for Bay to sexualize Megan Fox without giving in to the fetishes of the Internet. Just absolute garbage.
#1. Cogman’s Introduction – The Last Knight
On the outset, this might not seem like an atrocious scene, and you would be correct. A psychotic humanoid Transformer attacking Cade is tame compared to dogs humping. Why this is one of the worst scenes has to do with what it represents- sheer laziness on Bay. We get shifting aspect ratios, showing the guy can’t even shoot correctly; random acts of violence choppily edited together; humans screaming for no reason other than to fake emotions, and everyone just looking idiotic in general.
Say what you want about Bay, but he showed in films like The Rock and Bad Boys that he at least had a basic understanding of filmmaking. Here, he was clearly just doing it for the paycheck.