The Portable Door, 2023.
Directed by Jeffrey Walker.
Starring Patrick Gibson, Sophie Wilde, Christoph Waltz, Sam Neill, Miranda Otto, Chris Pang, Jessica De Gouw, Rachel House, Arka Das, Damon Herriman, Christopher Sommers, Jason Wilder, Diana Lin, and Lin Yin.
SYNOPSIS:
Paul Carpenter is an intern at a mysterious London firm with unconventional employers, including a CEO who wants to disrupt the ancient magical world with modern corporate practices.
Based on the novel by Tom Holt (a staple of young adult fantasy), director Jeffrey Walker (and screenwriter Leon Ford) doesn’t seem to understand how to have fun with The Portable Door. Set in London, the film centers on a firm consisting of standard wizardry, goblins, and magical creatures, including the titular portable door that protagonist Paul Carpenter (Patrick Gibson) is tasked with locating for CEO Humphrey Wells (Christoph Waltz). Even with some assistance from the Jim Henson Company to add some welcome practical detail to these elements (therefore giving the family film a slightly scary edge to go along with one or two scenes of surprisingly dark threats), the experience is low-energy and rarely takes advantage of its fantastical world.
There’s a self-seriousness to The Portable Door, which is understandable considering there are socially relevant topics the film is getting at regarding its villain essentially stealing information about people to start controlling their lives on a larger scale, taking over their instincts and decision-making rather than influencing it for the greater good. However, there is also a dry, genericness to that drama. Once Paul finds the portable door and expresses his concerns about what Humphrey has planned to fellow intern Sophie (Sophie Wilde), she’s not too worried about things since she has already been relatively brainwashed, opting to use the portable door to travel to several famous landmarks while bonding with Paul.
Logically, Sophie would be fascinated by such simple and easy teleportation, but you also want to thank her for giving the movie something fun to do. Even when Paul is working his way through the rules and how the portable door functions, accidentally transporting himself behind the glass panel of a grocery store’s frozen foods section, there is a playfulness that the rest of the film is severely lacking. An appropriately whimsical score from Benjamin Speed and the look of standard fantasy aren’t enough; there are things to admire about the production design, but when the story comes down to characters blasting magical energy and electricity balls at one another, all of this feels derivative and the opposite of magical.
The Portable Door also takes its sweet time getting itself started, first with a quick prologue showing John Wells (Christoph Waltz in a dual role where the best thing about the movie is inevitably watching him go over the top interacting with chaotic evil son counterpart) getting sealed away somewhere for return to be. The story then introduces Paul Carpenter, having a day filled with a ridiculous amount of bad luck juxtaposed with advertisements proclaiming that “there are no such things as coincidence.” It’s as if the universe is interfering with Paul’s life to bring him to the mysterious firm that just so happens to be looking for interns.
Paul impresses Humphrey upon realizing that his office wallpaper is a map of London, proving potential usefulness in locating the lost portable door. As mentioned above, Paul befriends Sophie (also applying for the internship), who starts enjoying things such as coffee and jazz music that she had mentioned not liking. Unfortunately, both of them are bland characters with even weaker chemistry. The further Paul digs into what’s really happening, Humphrey’s right-hand man Dennis Tanner (Sam Neill, also chewing the scenery), insists on staying out of it.
Roughly an hour into The Portable Door, the magical object is present and used but also wasted due to limited imagination. Then there’s the narrative itself, which is basic and uninspiring. After a while, don’t be surprised if you want to teleport yourself to a room not playing The Portable Door.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
