Do movie fans want Arnold Schwarzenegger’s return to the big screen? I do… but what could we expect?
Some projects remain in development hell forever. A permanent state of gestation, jumping between writers, directors and studios. Sometimes they never break out of that vault, but as we’ve seen with a recent (and regrettably shit) The Crow reboot, and Chad Stahelski’s upcoming Highlander reboot, occasionally those long-standing IPs do escape stasis.
Sure, you might argue, Hollywood needs a bit more originality. You could also point to a slew of big-budget movies, IP or not, which didn’t seem to attract any hype whatsoever, and the box office results only confirmed that apathy from audiences. Just look at Maggie Gyllenhaal’s The Bride!, a defiantly idiosyncratic and indie-minded production made on a budget it was never, ever gonna recover.
Then, news broke from Arnold Schwarzenegger himself recently that King Conan, Commando 2 and some kind of appearance in an upcoming Predator movie might just be happening.
All of these possibilities have been discussed over the years. Commando 2 rumours have swirled since the 80s, though never got taken quite as seriously as a return as Conan. Is Arnold too old? Just a year from turning 80, Arnold’s days as an action hero are seemingly over, but there’s always the old man hero archetype. For several years and a few scripts, including a version from John Milius said to be akin to Unforgiven, the idea often revolves around an older Conan drawn away from a dusty throne and coming back to battle. Are we going to see the Barbarian facing mortality and bringing a culmination of years spent in existential angst (the weight of the crown heavy), picking up his sword once more?
Now those long-standing rumours, possibilities and fan dreams could be coming home to roost. In years gone by, we’ve had names like Paul Verhoeven linked to a King Conan movie, but now there’s something a bit more solid. Christopher McQuarrie is seemingly attached to write and direct. A choice that suggests two things. One, that this is in a serious state of progress and two, that it’s being treated seriously by Fox (who Arnold suggests also want to push ahead with Commando 2).
A director of McQuarrie’s standing doesn’t (hopefully) mean this will be cynically churned out. He’ll also have a degree of control that probably wasn’t afforded to someone like Tim Miller, with Terminator: Dark Fate (for example). It’s essential that the film acknowledges and plays to Arnold’s age. This appears to be the thinking and has been for the past decade of development whispers and murmurings. McQuarrie will most likely follow in that thinking.
Just what kind of journey Conan takes is going to be fascinating for fans to see. Invariably, in films like this, old school fans often worry that the film might lean toward some kind of passing of the torch. Is Conan junior going to step forward to take up the mantle? Maybe played by Schwarzenegger’s own lookalike son, Joseph Baena. Or they could infuse some kind of Arthurian/Shakespearean battle between father and son. How much fan service does McQuarrie give himself over to? Generally, I’m not a fan of shoehorning, though it would be nice to see Sandahl Bergman’s Valeria might have a brief spectral appearence perhaps. While we’re at it, maybe stick in Dolph Lundgren as King Osrick II.
Whatever and whoever appear in King Conan, a big hope is that McQuarrie leans vehemently into the kind of practical filmmaking that his long-time cohort Tom Cruise has insisted upon. John Milius’ masterful original, its legacy only growing in time, laid down an excellent, dusty, dirty, physical marker. Whilst some fans of Robert E Howard’s original stories felt the original film was lacking a little in the grander mythology, creatures and magic (though there is still plenty), part of Milius’ approach was no doubt born out of the practicalities of making a movie in 1981, even with it coming post-Star Wars. No such worries exist in an era of blockbusters beholden to CGI, which will no doubt broaden the visual scope, but an overreliance would make the film feel too glossy, unreal, and weightless.
The Milius original, co-written with Oliver Stone, is also more richly layered and philosophical than it got credit for back in the day. Often dismissed by critics as a bruising, sweaty B picture, what it is – thanks to an excellent script, stunning visuals and Basil Poledouris’ enveloping and esoteric score – is a magnificent, almost operatic opus. Conan says very little throughout the film, largely pretty sparse on dialogue. It retains enigma, inviting you to delve into deeper moments among the usual sword-slashing, bloody battles.
Even still, Conan the Barbarian is sometimes underappreciated for its artistic merits, maybe nostalgically (mis)remembered as being a big dumb lug of a movie. Schwarzenegger’s raw and slightly unhoned (but occasionally effective) performance may add to that feeling, but James Earl Jones and a few other veterans like Mako and Max von Sydow gave a whole heap of gravitas. The aforementioned Sandahl Bergman was also superb. All raw thespian attributes aside, the young Arnold’s physicality was incredible.
The point is, McQuarrie’s script has to be great. There is actually a high bar set that he needs to match. He’s also working against the whispers that Milius’ own King Conan script was great (and will remain in said vault). We know McQuarrie can deliver a stellar screenplay; we’ve seen it before. We’ve also seen the opposite, with the approach to the last few Mission Impossible movies being something of a stunt-first, ask narrative questions later mentality. It’s been attested to many times, even by Mr Cruise himself, that the scripts could change on a whim, on location, on set. Entire plot strands or arcs could be born out of a film well into principal photography. That can’t be the approach on this. It needs to have a great script, all but locked down, before the cameras roll.
For Arnold, it’s also a shift from relying on his physicality to make up for some dramatic difficulties he may have had in the original film. It could have been the case that Milius’ film and its sparsity of dialogue were also, in part, an approach to protect Arnold, too. Earlier cuts of the film and versions of that Milius script had more dialogue (and reportedly also a narration), so the decision to go far more stoic was a sensible one.
For King Conan, though, they can still opt for a silent and pensive Conan. A contemplative King facing extinction, in a failing body that was once all-powerful. Schwarzenegger might not be Daniel Day-Olivier by any stretch, but he’s proven more adaptable through his career than many might give him credit for. He’s also shown in a film like Maggie, which about three people saw, that he can deliver a vulnerable and human performance.
Finally, the score. How do you compete with Basil Poledouris? His Conan score is one of the greatest orchestral scores ever. Varied, thunderous, majestic, old-fashioned and bombastic. The music added a layer to the film itself, contributing to that feeling of witnessing a grand silent opera. We’re in a time where big, bold theme scores are so rare, short of those old themes being repeated on longstanding IP. Every Star Wars film and spinoff is gonna work in one of William’s core Star Wars themes.
Conan certainly had some recurring themes through its distinct and epic score, some of which could be carefully reused. Still, if the gig were to go to Hans Zimmer, for example, it would be best for him to put his own stamp on things, his own themes, whilst retaining a similar adaptability between tracks. Perhaps too, toying with some old-fashioned styles when required, too, as Basil did by effectively evoking old B movies and/or epics of the 50s. Likewise, he fused in some world music in particular tracks as well to really give the world of Conan more life.
Arnold’s return to Predator has long been rumoured, even going back to being offered the second movie. More recently, there have been rumblings and teasing comments about the potential to bring Dutch back in Dan Trachtenberg’s next film in the franchise. It’s a far simpler thing to achieve and to get right. Again, Arnold’s age and his character’s age need to be factored, but Dutch’s return as a haggard old vet, still undoubtedly haunted by that first encounter, is probably the right approach.
Much like the latter career of Eastwood (again) or John Wayne, this wily old soldier may come back to face a new enemy. It wouldn’t work to give too great a focus on Dutch, but he’d deserve more than a walk-on and a wave. He needs to be active, just as long as the whole enterprise doesn’t feel forced like Arnold’s returns as the Terminator in the last two movies. Or indeed like Linda Hamilton’s rote return as Sarah Connor.
Does the world really need Commando 2? Of course not. Do I want it? Maybe, but only with the right ingredients. It needs to hit the tone just right. Too self-aware and comedic, bordering on spoof, would feel irksome. Going too serious would also lose the essence of what made Mark L. Lester’s original so much fun. The indestructible Matrix could be made a bit more vulnerable, but he’d certainly have to return some level of his powers.
In more recent years, Sisu has certainly captured that pretty well with an ageing protagonist, though slightly less reliant on humour than Ahnuld’s action classic. The worst thing to do would be to partner him with a younger sidekick who ends up belittling Matrix throughout the film. It has to be his show, or he’s got to be the driving force. Active and not passive. Indiana Jones felt intermittently useless in his final outing, though the legacy that character carried is far greater.
Here’s the big thing, though. This needs someone behind the camera who knows action. Someone who knows stunts and appreciates a bit of good old-fashioned, in-camera practical work. Real debris has to blow out of the walls. Blood squibs bursting with wild, Verhoev-ian abandon. This isn’t likely to carry the same kind of budget or production heft as the new Predator or King Conan; however, a reasonable outlay to ensure a big opening, middle and end would be appreciated. A lot of modern action cinema, aside from being too reliant on CGI, is also trying way too hard. Every fight seems to need a cam-op surging around within the choreography. Keep it simple, but effectively blunt and brutal with just the right pinch of “to hell with physics” theatricality.
It absolutely (sadly) won’t happen, but this is the ideal project to give over to reliable action stalwarts who have remained just below the theatrical radar. Jesse V. Johnson has a wealth of experience as a stuntman and a director, specialising in the action genre, with a penchant for practical work too. He’d make a great action movie with $50-60 million and a free hand. Of course, given this will be a studio movie, likely under the Disney umbrella, it’s likely to end up with executive mitts all over it, but we can dream.
If not JVJ, then John Hyams, particularly if you want some level of interesting reinvention. What he did to the Universal Soldier franchise, particularly in the fourth instalment, was almost revelatory. Again, Universal Soldier in tone and scope wasn’t a million miles from Commando, which makes an existential psychological (and Lynchian/Cronenbergian/Kubrickian) horror like Day of Reckoning all the more astounding. A shift that left of field wouldn’t work this time, but he’s got real vision and nails what he wants to do (and he can deliver great set pieces). It feels perhaps like a project David Leitch is probably above, but who knows. The trick is getting someone just as capable who hasn’t had their John Wick/Atomic Blonde/Deadpool) just yet. Most importantly, letting them actually direct.
Whether these films see the light of day any time soon remains to be seen. We’ve often had to take Schwarzenegger announcements with huge pinches of salt, but wouldn’t it be great to see the Austrian Oak finally make a proper Post-Governator return?
Which upcoming Arnie film are you most looking forward to? Let us know on our social media channels @FlickeringMyth…
Tom Jolliffe
