Cold Storage, 2026.
Directed by Jonny Campbell.
Starring Georgina Campbell, Joe Keery, Liam Neeson, Lesley Manville, Sosie Bacon, Vanessa Redgrave, Richard Brake, Aaron Heffernan, Ellora Torchia, Rob Collins, Justin Salinger, Gavin Spokes, Andrew Brooke, Darrell D’Silva, Lujza Richter, Nahel Tzegai, and Daniel Rigby.
SYNOPSIS:
When a highly dangerous fungus escapes from a secret laboratory, a former bioterrorism agent is called back into action. Alongside two young employees, he must confront an invisible and out-of-control threat.
Centered on a fungal virus reawakened after 20 years of dormancy inside the titular storage facility (built after a bio-weapons research lab was deconstructed), director Jonny Campbell’s Cold Storage is based on Jurassic Park screenwriter David Koepp’s novel (he adapted the material himself), but visually is a consistent reminder of Stephen King in the original Creepshow anthology film, covered in meteor shit.
The only difference is that the effects are now heavily CGI-based and, to put it kindly, unimpressive, given the low budget. It is also a persistent, highly contagious fungus capable of breaching most surfaces, primarily seeking to latch onto human beings and transforming them into grass-infested, zombie-like creatures that spew green ooze to infect others. Sometimes, the fungus will self-detonate its host’s body to increase the range of the goo.
In theory, this should make for an entertaining exercise with two minimum-wage graveyard shift storage security guards (Joe Keery and Georgina Campbell) trying to survive the night with others in harm’s way, ranging from an elderly woman (Vanessa Redgrave) sifting through the belongings of her deceased beloved one last time and taking a nap there while contemplating suicide or a disgruntled manager planning on robbing the place of excess 4K TVs.
Liam Neeson is also present as a retired bioterror operative with a bad back in a race against time and battle against a dismissive government to reach the storage facility with the means to take out the fungal virus once and for all, as he had done in the past with his partner (Lesley Manville) in the opening prologue.
However, Cold Storage is nothing more than an exercise in killing time, as there is nothing remotely compelling about its two leads. He is afraid to explore the loud pinging noise, she goads him into growing a backbone and investigating closed-off areas. We also come to learn that she has a child alongside a deadbeat father (which is more of an excuse to get another casualty in here when it comes to the latter, more than anything resembling intriguing characterization).
The issue is that even though they bicker and talk throughout, it never comes across as bonding but more as rambling and poking at one another, while equally dull scenes of Liam Neeson’s bioterror operative interrupt them as he slowly makes his way to the storage facility, reuniting with an old partner along the way. This is made all the more hilariously confounding by the awkward epilogue that is intended to be emotionally satisfying.
There is also no consistent tone from character to character; sometimes Liam Neeson’s specialist is a wacky jokester, other times he is serious about the danger that could be unleashed on the world. The same applies to the film itself, which sometimes presents a punk rock energy but at times entirely drops that for something more familiar in thriller territory. There is also the occasional throwaway plot point and janky editing, causing one to wonder if a prior version of the adaptation split time more evenly between the bioterror operatives and the security guards
Yes, Cold Storage fares better once all these characters collide, but even then, that is 30 minutes of a 90-minute period that feels longer. Anytime the film attempts to demonstrate how the fungal virus works on animals, the special effects are unforgivably poor. At the very least, the fungal-infested humans have a fittingly gross aesthetic and provide some immediate danger through easy contagion. Sometimes, though, the film abandons its own preestablished rules, therefore killing some of that urgent danger. Nevertheless, there is some violent chaos and a mildly engaging roast of her in the finale. Coincidentally, this one should have remained in cold storage until a more visionary filmmaking team came around to really make the premise and characters pop.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★
Robert Kojder
