Pretty Problems, 2022.
Directed by Kestrin Pantera.
Starring Britt Rentschler, Michael Tennant, J.J. Nolan, Charlotte Ubben, Alex Klein, Clayton Froning, Katrina Hughes, Amy Maghera, Vanessa Chester, Graham Outerbridge, Tom DeTrinis, Bonnie Kolber, and Rebecca Larsen.
SYNOPSIS:
Jack and Lindsay are invited on a getaway trip with affluent strangers: down the rabbit hole, and into the most unhinged weekend of their lives. Can their relationship survive?
Lindsay and Jack (played by Britt Rentschler and Michael Tennant, with the former involved in the story’s conception and the latter on screenplay duties) are in a rut, given Pretty Problems‘ opening look at their struggling sex life and bickering). Although not exactly happy about barely making ends meet living paycheck to paycheck, Jack is content living that life and winding down the day watching baseball.
Meanwhile, Lindsay is searching for something more, which stumbles into the fancy clothing store she works at in the form of filthy rich Cat Flax (J.J. Nolan), who immediately is drawn to Lindsay and throws shade at her boss by purchasing nearly everything in the store (including the jewellery). As Lindsay recounts the day’s events to Jack, excitedly mentioning the huge commission received from the staggering transaction, she drops the bombshell that this stranger has invited them to their Sonoma Château for a luxurious getaway.
Initially, this makes for an amusing setup as director Kestrin Pantera plays up two different thought processes for laughs; Jack believes that everything about this situation is shady and that they’re going to be murdered, whereas Lindsay, after joking around, is open to the possibility that it’s a sex thing.
Once they arrive, there are funny bits here and there pointing to both theories, pulling the audience in favor of one character and back to the other like a pendulum. Michael Tennant especially has some terrific comedic timing, even when the film is irritating to sit through (which is most of the time).
Also present are two more wealthy couples, meaning that our central pair are the odd ones. There’s no way to put this other than that these are rich assholes born with silver spoons in their mouths, currently dealing with rich people’s vices, looking to suck the life out of Lindsay and Jack and make them one of their own.
As the week goes on, Cat opens up about taking Lindsay under her wing to realize her ambitions and start a business, effectively becoming rich. Jack is occasionally the voice of reason, weirded out by their generosity and how much information everyone knows about them. However, he is saddled with anger issues and insecurities that lead to his mistakes.
The point is that there is not a single likable character in Pretty Problems; all of them are either shallow, vapid, selfish, or unbelievably immature (it’s revealed that Lindsay doesn’t enjoy sex much with Jack because once upon a time, she was dating someone known for having a big penis, with Jack’s measurements not up to snuff; someone who also turns out to be working for the Flax’s and in the home). And while I don’t expect the venomous billionaires to be saintly either, it’s baffling that some of their vile actions are played for laughs.
This is not a dark comedy; it is insufferable without a single reason to care about anything, and by the time the film reaches that point, there is another agonizing hour to go. The comedy starts to fall flat, and then, more painfully, every scene begins to meander on and on without direction.
Then again, a film called Pretty Problems should tell you everything you need to know before coming into it. Even the obvious message the characters learn hardly feels earned but is certainly welcome, considering it means the movie is almost over. There are far more problems than pretty ones here.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
