Pack your suitcase and don’t forget your passport for these essential holidays gone wrong!
Holidays are supposed to be relaxing escapes from the grind of everyday life. Whether you’re off to the snowy mountains to ski, or soaking up the sun, sand and Sangria at a Spanish beach, everybody needs a little R and R.
The humble holiday often makes a good backdrop for a film’s storyline, but it just wouldn’t be interesting if it were a perfect and idyllic vacation. No, in the world of cinema, holidays invariably go disastrously wrong, sending the protagonist into chaotic, occasionally deadly scenarios (depending on the genre). Here are ten essential holidays gone wrong…
Withnail and I
It’s the immortal line (of many immortal lines), “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake.” Bruce Robinson’s iconic comedy sees two out-of-work actors (Richard E. Grant and Paul McGann) taking an impromptu vacation from the drudgery of late 60s London to take in some country air. Sadly, it’s wet weather, sodden mud and no mod cons of any sort as they settle into the holiday home owned by Withnail’s (Grant) eccentric Uncle Monty.
Monty then stops by and creates even more problems, notably for Marwood (McGann), who becomes the target of Monty’s infatuation. There’s not a single line that isn’t quotable, and though the holiday itself is a disaster, it proves to be a key moment of growth for Marwood, returning home to London knowing a separation from Withnail is inevitable. Brilliant performances and beneath the farce and the great lines are layered and interestingly flawed characters who provide dramatic weight.
Sonatine
Takeshi Kitano raises the interesting question as to what gangsters do on a vacation. After a gang war escalates, a group of gangsters (including leading man Kitano) lie low at the beach, passing the time with childish, sometimes wildly dangerous games.
These violent criminals become listless, whilst Kitano finds himself intrigued by a woman he meets. Inevitably, the brief dalliance with a seaside holiday hideout is interrupted by brutal violence again, all played out to a terrific Joe Hisaishi soundtrack. It’s uniquely Kitano with its style, making Sonatine feel like a fresh entry into violent gangster cinema.
Die Hard
New York cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) flies to LA over the Christmas holidays to reconnect with his estranged wife and kids, heading to the office tower she works at. It should be a mundane office party, but it turns into a nightmare when international terrorists take over the building with a safe filled with bonds on their radar.
It’s down to Bruce Willis in an increasingly filthy vest and bare feet to take on the criminals (led by Alan Rickman) and save the hostages (including his wife). Die Hard redefined action cinema, popularising a well-worn archetype as its very own new sub-genre (Die Hard in a…). It also became the subject of one of cinema’s great debates: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Yes of course it is!
Home Alone
Less debate about its Christmassyness surrounds Home Alone. For many its a Christmas tradition as essential as a mince pie. A family holiday is thrown into chaos when troublesome Kevin McCallister is left behind by his terrible, terrible parents (and the other terrible relatives).
Kevin initially revels in being home alone, but his hedonistic indulgence of B movies and ice cream binges is interrupted by Harry and Marv, opportunistic burglars, hitting this highly wealthy neighbourhood. Cue sadistic traps as the hapless burglars bite off more than they can chew with the kid who probably grew up to be Jigsaw.
In Bruges
After a hit gone wrong, an ageing hitman (Brendan Gleeson) is tasked with taking his young protege (Colin Farrell) away from potential trouble, to hide out in Bruges, at the behest of their ruthless boss, Harry (Ralph Fiennes). Why Bruges? Well, it’s a fucking fairytale (at least according to Harry).
For Ken (Gleeson), it’s a chance to soak up history, heritage and enjoy a peaceful escape from his criminal job. For Ray (Farrell), it’s a dull and grey surround where he feels trapped and unable to shake off the guilt from his botched assassination. Harry flips up the script further, ordering Ken to take Ray out. Martin McDonagh’s black comedy is pure cult cinema, chock full of great lines and a killer cast (all at the peak of their powers).
Accident Man: Hitman’s Holiday
Scott Adkins returns as the hitman Mike Fallon, who gets weary of life as a gun for hire in London and seeks respite in Malta. Sadly, the criminal world is never far behind, and he finds himself having to battle rival assassins, whilst trying to protect the ungrateful son of a mafia boss.
Adkins has long proved himself a reliable action hero who rarely drops the ball. His creative input in the Accident Man films (and passion projects) also gives them a leg up over some of his other films. It also allows Adkins to stretch his comedic muscles a little too, and his script (co-written with Stu Small) is filled with plenty of zingers. However, no Adkins classic is complete without eye-popping, bone-breaking fight scenes, and on that front, he and directors Harry and George Kirby, more than ably deliver.
The Descent
A bunch of female friends look to reconnect and help Sarah (Shauna MacDonald) deal with the tragedy that saw her husband and daughter die a year ago. Their weekend away on a caving expedition goes horrifyingly wrong as an accident leaves them all trapped inside a cave and needing to find a way out.
Trouble is, they’re not alone with a cabal of terrifying underground predators with a taste for human flesh hunting them down. Atmospheric, chilling and brilliantly executed, it’s so good that Neil Marshall has struggled to reach close to the bar he set with this film.
Total Recall
Holidays are all about experiencing new surroundings, but perhaps the future promises a very different kind of vacation, one you can experience without going anywhere. That’s the set-up for Paul Verhoeven’s very loose adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s We Can Remember it For You Wholesale.
The classic Schwarzenegger Sci-fi is laden with unforgettable lines and gleefully excessive violence. All the while, Verhoeven layers in playful satire. The film still manages to effortlessly entertain and visually dazzle. Arnie is used perfectly here, Sharon Stone is fantastic and bad guy extraordinaires Ronny Cox and Michael Ironside are superb. All backed by a great Jerry Goldsmith score.
The Vanishing
A Dutch couple’s holiday in the French countryside is going well enough by the time they pull into a service station for petrol and a break. All seems normal, until it isn’t. Rex (Gene Bervoets) searches for Saskia (Johanna Ter Steege), but she’s nowhere to be seen among the sea of resting travellers. His search shifts from mild bemusement to frustration to abject fear when she still hasn’t turned up.
Step forward a few years, and he’s with a new partner but still haunted by the lack of closure about Saskia’s fate. Meanwhile, Raymond (Bernard Pierre-Donnadieu) is revealed as a killer, targeting women. It’s a macabre sideline to his otherwise dour life as a seemingly mild-mannered family man. He’s now sending postcards to Rex, wanting to meet. That burning curiosity drives Rex to meet the man who he hopes could give him answers. The cost becomes unforgettable and the defining part of George Sluizier’s unique and mesmerising thriller.
Hour of the Wolf
An Ingmar Bergman depiction of a vacation was never going to be a delightful weekend in the country. Here, the master of cerebral cinema crafts a dark and disturbing folk horror tale that’s one of his most distinctly horror works.
Max von Sydow, the long-time Bergman collaborator, is an artist whose vacation turns into an insular journey of self-discovery and inner demons. As he tended to, Bergman was able to conjure unforgettable imagery here.
Honourable Mentions:
When Darkness Falls (sue me, it’s one of mine), Vacation, The Hills Have Eyes, Evil Dead, Tourist Trap, Deliverance, Lion Strike (aka Ring of Fire III), Weekend at Bernie’s.
What’s your favourite holiday gone wrong? Let us know on our social channels @FlickeringMyth…
Tom Jolliffe
