Helloween, 2025.
Directed by Phil Claydon.
Starring Ronan Summers, Caroline Wilde, Michael Paré, Jeanine Nerissa Sothcott, Tamsin Dean, Tee Blackwood.
SYNOPSIS:
In 2016, a journalist traces the killer clown craze sweeping the nation back to an imprisoned serial killer who is planning to escape.
As a nation, the UK has never done Halloween properly. Yeah, we might put on a mask or make-up and take the kids round the neighbours to get some sweets (we don’t do tricks – we just want the treats) but it’s all done in a lethargic manner, like we don’t really care and only do it because we’ve seen it in American movies. We also don’t do slasher movies that well either, so the idea of a killer clown movie set at Halloween in the English suburbs could go either way, really – is Helloween a fresh take on an established horror sub-genre with a British twist, or another embarrassing attempt to ape what the US seems to effortlessly knock out on command?
To be honest, it’s the latter, but why is that? Why does the atmosphere and thrills of the Halloween season and slasher movies not translate as well when made in the UK? It isn’t a language barrier thing, we too have dimly-lit suburbs ripe for some stalking action and – as referred to in this movie – we have our own social and community problems that can breed criminals and psychopaths. Granted, we’re probably too polite to exude the menacing cool of Captain Spaulding, or maybe we’re too reserved to be as brutal and sadistic as Art the Clown, but surely we can create our own horror icons with their own identity to represent us in the genre big leagues?
Nope, can’t do that either apparently. Helloween is a movie that kicks at the ankles of the big boys to try and get noticed but because it is so deeply rooted in other (i.e. better) movies – so much so that it even lifts lines from one and paraphrases at least one other, several times – it never gets past the idea of being a fan fiction fantasy that got funded and given the go-ahead. The movie is set in 2016, when the UK was experiencing a weird trend of people dressing as clowns and generally being annoying, so much so that it became news headlines, and sees American journalist John Parker (Michael Paré) tracing the source of this craze back to face-painted serial killer Carl Cane (Ronan Summers), who murdered several people – including his foster parents – when he was a child and was incarcerated for 20 years.
Parker goes to visit Cane in his prison and explains his theories to criminal psychiatrist Ellen Marks (Jeanine Nerissa Sothcott), but if Cane has been in jail all this time, then how did he become the figurehead for the killer clown movement and, more importantly, what is his plan when he breaks free of his chains and goes on the rampage, which he inevitably does?
Well, there are numerous other horror movies you could watch if you want to find out, because Helloween doesn’t really have an original idea outside of setting it during a real-life event. The obvious references to John Carpenter’s Halloween go beyond homage and almost into parody – even to the point that Dr. Marks almost quotes Dr. Loomis’ “I spent 10 years trying to reach him…” monologue verbatim, changing one or two words so as not to infringe copyright, no doubt – but we also get the same rules that applied to visiting Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs more-or-less read out identically (quite how someone who is chained up by the wrists is supposed to pass something to you is never really explored), along with nods (or headbutts, such is the force of their presence) to The Purge and IT.
A look at the making-of featurette in the special features shows you a cast and crew who are obviously enthusiastic and want to make a gory horror movie that harks back to the g(l)ory days of prime John Carpenter – even down to the lighting choices, which are questionable, and the score, which works but you’ve heard it before – so there is no doubting their excitement, but none of this translates to the screen. What is on the screen is messy and derivative, weirdly restrained in the gore department for a movie that is selling itself as a British alternative to Terrifier, and listening to actors try and sell you this story using dialogue from other movies mixed in with every serial killer cliché you can think of is, quite frankly, hilarious and for all the wrong reasons.
For his part, Michael Paré plays the token American and looks a little embarrassed, but he does have screen presence, and Ronan Summers does seem to relish playing a killer clown, although it is a fairly inconsistent performance. Yes, he is playing a psychopath but the actor points out in his interview that he spent a while trying to perfect Cane’s vocal delivery, and that doesn’t really come across in the final product. However, his enthusiasm for it does, so maybe there is a killer clown movie yet to be made for him to showcase what he was talking about.
And that movie could potentially be Helloween 2, as producer Jonathan Sothcott mentions turning Helloween into a possible franchise. The passion for it is there in bucketloads (from the crew), but given how lacklustre and uninventive this movie is, Art the Clown has nothing to worry about just yet.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Chris Ward
