Villordsutch reviews The X-Files: Conspiracy #1…
“The event of the year begins here! When The Lone Gunmen discover Internet files from future, they learn that a plague will soon wipe out most of humanity. With Agents Mulder and Scully working one lead, the Gunmen must spring into action and investigate several urban legends: a group of ghost-hunters, mutant turtles that live in the sewers, shape-changing alien robots, and a vengeful spirit from beyond the grave!”
I’m going to reveal my hand early in this review. I know this isn’t the preferred method of reviewing as normally I go on for a while with either praise or venom then say my sentence to wrap it all up, but reading through The X-Files: Conspiracy #1 made me want to say my piece early. This comic is like an amazing salad which is covered in all the junk you love, then right at the bottom of the salad you find a half-eaten cockroach, and you’re left disgusted.
Now let’s go back in time to the beginning of this issue, which some people like to call the start. You are greeted with a nerdgasam of a cover as we see the Lone Gunmen, A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Ghostbusters HQ, Optimus Prime and a Crow; unaware of why these icons from my youth are sellotaped to the front of this comic, I was rather excited to find out.
Paul Crilley has given us here a rather fantastic X-Files tale here. The humour is spot on and the story too is perfect for the Lone Gunmen. If you can push their tragic spin-off series from your mind and just keep you memories lodged in The X-Files TV series this would be a perfect play for these three stooges.
Starting at CERN, an invisible force taps away at a keyboard directing an email towards our three protagonists; this email contains news articles from the close future and with that our chaps seek the help of Mulder and Scully who are currently in the process of investigating a fairly gruesome scene where an unknown containment has just brought death to all those people living in an apartment block -death by forcing their bodies to erupt metal spikes from within themselves. Chased from the city by two well-dressed killers, our three heroes drive towards the Ghostbusters for further help.
It’s gruesome, it’s a mystery, and it’s brilliant. It looks good too with the art and colouring by John Stanisci and Steven Downer (respectively) with well-drawn scenes and excellent shading, my only fault being the occasional odd looking head on a character, but I can let this pass as it’s only a minor concern.
As I finish the comic I realise the earlier nerdgasam cover is actually the half-eaten cockroach. As a “fun thing to do” IDW have managed to tie all of the above properties – Transformers, Ghostbusters, TMNT etc – into one big story running over six issues for the next three months. Conspiracy will weave its way around these other franchises returning eventually to the X-Files. Now you may believe I’m frustrated as it appears to be a money making scheme; I’m not as I’ve bought crossover comics many times in the past, it’s gotten my back up as it doesn’t fit X-Files Lore! Mulder constantly tries to prove we are not alone and Scully finds a way to bring the situation back to reality. Well it now appears that both Mulder and Scully are blind fools and like some type of pantomime fools they’ve kept missing the 112ft Marshmallow Man stopping over New York, or the 32ft tall robots smashing the world to pieces with their space spanning war. How have Scully and Mulder missed these!? These additions may sound cool, but in the end they are not. A shame really as I enjoyed it up until the last page.
Villordsutch likes his sci-fi and looks like a tubby Viking according to his children. Visit his website and follow him on Twitter.
Originally published January 16, 2014. Updated April 11, 2018.
