Every Wednesday, FM writers Simon Columb and Brogan Morris write two short reviews on Woody Allen films … in the hope of watching all his films over the course of roughly 49 weeks. If you have been watching Woody’s films and want to join in, feel free to comment with short reviews yourself! Next up is You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger and Everyone Says I Love You…
Simon Columb on You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger…
Squeezed between Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Midnight in Paris are two less-known features. Whatever Works harks back to earlier scripts while You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is a mish-mash of actors and threads of stories that are, ultimately, forgettable. Alfie (Anthony Hopkins) divorces his wife, Helena (Gemma Jones), while daughter Sally (Naomi Watts) struggles with her own husband, Roy (Josh Brolin). Roy falls for younger-model Dia (Freida Pinto) as Sally herself fantasizes about her boss Greg (Antonio Banderas). Allen explains how what weaves the stories together is delusion – faith in the future, belief in reincarnation. Esteemed actors, such as Anthony Hopkins, meant I had faith they’d be more engaging than standard affairs fare and upper-class woe. London fails to add a sense of purpose (as locations do in Manhattan and Midnight in Paris) while the Stacey-Solomon-like charm of the prostitute seems cliché and insulting. Woody Allen can be more nuanced and engaging than this!
Brogan Morris on Everyone Says I Love You…
Woody Allen made a musical, and the reality of this insane proposal is that a sprawling mess of romantic entanglements are unified by Allen’s surprisingly charming utilisation of the genre. Edward Norton is winning as a lovestruck sap, Goldie Hawn and Alan Alda are superb as the liberal heads of a large New York family and Tim Roth, though overplaying compared to the more natural characters around him, is hilariously sinister as a ‘recovering’ ex-con (perhaps the biggest surprise comes when Roth’s Charles woos Drew Barrymore’s bride-to-be with an impressive set of pipes). The only one miscast is Allen, too old to play the romantic hero seducing 20-something Julia Roberts. But Everyone Says I Love You, a film that becomes more uproariously fantastical as it progresses, is infectious. The musical sequences don’t always gel with the main narrative, but they add an offbeat zing to this unique experiment of Allen’s.
Brogan Morris – Lover of film, writer of words, pretentious beyond belief. Thinks Scorsese and Kubrick are the kings of cinema, but PT Anderson and David Fincher are the young princes. Follow Brogan on Twitter if you can take shameless self-promotion.
Originally published May 28, 2014. Updated April 12, 2018.
