The Ridiculous 6, 2015.
Directed by Frank Coraci.
Starring Adam Sandler, Nick Nolte, Taylor Lautner, Terry Crews, Rob Schneider, Jorge Garcia, Luke Wilson, Will Forte, Danny Trejo, David Spade, Whitney Cummings, Jon Lovitz, Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel, Steve Zahn, Nick Swardson, John Turturro, Julia Jones, Blake Shelton, Vanilla Ice, Dan Patrick, Chris Kattan, Lavell Crawford, and Saginaw Grant
SYNOPSIS:
An outlaw who was raised by Native Americans discovers that he has five half-brothers; together the men go on a mission to find their wayward, deadbeat dad.
It’s to be expected that any new Adam Sandler movie will be nothing more than a cheap, easy, quick payday for him and all of his D-list buddies. Most of us have come to accept that. It doesn’t make any of his recent films any less terrible, but at the end of the day you knew what you were getting yourself into. The Ridiculous 6 however, is beyond lazy; it’s a horrendous comedy. I use the term “comedy” in the loosest definition possible.
Putting forth little effort is one thing, provided a simplistic and functional story can be strung together with some working jokes weaved in between. I did not fire up The Ridiculous 6 expecting highbrow, socially complex comedy like Mistress America (Dear Noah Baumbach, I’m sorry I mentioned your amazing work in the same sentence as an Adam Sandler film), but seeing as how I’m not really bothered by racially insensitive, sexist, or gross-out humor, I expected some of it to get a giggle out of me.
Nope. Instead I got Terry Crews making jokes about playing the piano with his dick, Steve Buscemi rubbing an ointment on the private parts of Jorge Garcia (I guess Kevin James was booked or had the self-respect not to partake in something so degrading), a donkey using explosive diarrhea as a method of distraction while the titular Ridiculous 6 rob a bank, Vanilla Ice portraying Mark Twain as a white gangsta rapper, Taylor Lautner getting a blowjob from said donkey, and so much more unfunny juvenile bottom of the barrel trash. Watching this movie is the equivalent of being water-boarded. It’s that bad.
Of course, Adam Sandler plays the perfect protagonist that all the women want, is a deadly expert with knives, is morally superior thanks to being raised by Indian ways after his father left him and mother was murdered in cold blood, and essentially has not one flaw. The entire point of a main character is to toss that person into a situation that allows some form of personal growth; even Chris Farley movies from the 90s like fucking Tommy Boy figured this out. I apologize to Chris Farley who is now rolling in his grave because I compared one of his films to this steaming pile of Burro feces. Yes, I know they were friends, but if Chris Farley did see this, even he would hate it; his SNL skits and movies were Shakespeare compared to this..
It doesn’t help that Adam Sandler clearly does not give a single fucking shit about actually acting out a performance with enthusiasm. He delivers every single line in a deadpan, monotone voice that is supposed to mimic westerns of old that featured soft-spoken heroes whom typically focused on letting their actions speak for them. Instead, Sandler is just out there reciting lines, waiting for his paycheck, which is honestly an insult to the rest of the cast considering that as irritating as they are, they at least try to inject something into their character that makes them stand out. Look, I wanted to strangle Taylor Lautner portraying the illiterate, overblown dumbass with broken teeth and a goofy mentally challenged looking smile, but at the same time it’s just nice to know that someone actually tried. Him receiving fellatio from a donkey is still more romantic than Twilight.
The Ridiculous 6 is so bad it’s not even worth watching, and at 120 minutes, it is far too long. To be fair, I was ready to cut my eyes out about 20 minutes in, which is coincidentally something a female character says in the beginning. She had the right idea. To make matters worse, the climax to the movie lasts around 30 minutes long. If you ever actually watch this piece of shit, the face I made when I realized how long this movie was is what Rob Schneider does at the poker table. Furthermore, that 15 second facial expression is literally the only time I cracked a smile during the duration of this insufferable experience.
Even the plot barely makes sense, at one point shifting into a horror film about some ancient golden artifact, culminating in a scene where Harvey Keitel is decapitated and blindly begins shooting his pistols at his own face. It’s not even funny the first time, but the rest of the characters continuously mock the scene as if it were the pinnacle of comedy.
I sincerely hope no one involved with the script, or even the actors, actually thought people would laugh at remotely anything in this movie. Just take your paycheck and move on knowing that audiences and critics around the world have somehow lowered their respect for you further. As a matter of fact, I might just flush it down the toilet right now. It can’t get worse than The Ridiculous 6.
This review was penned by someone that enjoyed Pixels to an extent.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Robert Kojder – An aficionado of film, wrestling, and gaming. Follow me on Twitter or friend me on Facebook
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PL18yMRIfoszEaHYNDTy5C-cH9Oa2gN5ng&v=WWU57JuvPl0
