Tsunambee, 2015.
Directed by Milko Davis.
Starring Stacy Pederson, Ruselis Perry, Maria DeCoste, Shale Le Page, and Thea Saccoliti.
SYNOPSIS:
After a catastrophe strikes Los Angeles, survivors face an even greater threat, thousands of giant killer bees, ushering in the end of the world!
So there we are in the Flickering Myth staff cave. The door swings open and in comes a delivery man with a briefcase cuffed to his wrist. This could well be something special methinks. He slaps it on the table. When we all shout at him to put his trousers back on, he does so and we order him to open the briefcase. Inside is the screener to a film called Tsunambee. Suddenly eyes light up. A brawl ensues. I know with every fibre of my being that I need to get a hold of this. I shout “look, an early trailer for Avengers: Infinity War!” and point to the self-aware 80 foot console and screen that adorns the cave wall. Half the team look over. The sad fools. The rest need taking out. Anghus is in the corner laughing at the comments section from his latest controversial article (all of which I love reading by the way) so he’s out of action. Anyway, I jump a few of the other folk, someone foolishly pulls my finger which takes out five, and I get my hand on the disc and shout “shotgun!” Thus claiming it.
Then back to my own cave. Rubber underpants on, 2 litre bottle of smart price paint thinner/vodka (one of those…I think), appropriate meat based snacks, appropriate sugar based snacks, and my trusty defibrillator (just in case). I want to order pizza but my wife forbids it. I put Tsunambee on fully expecting a game changer in the Z-grade, low-budget monster flick. This will do for Bees what Sharknado did for Tara Reid…sorry, I mean sharks. Have we had ludicrously titled monster film burnout? Not as yet.
These films can work on a couple of levels. They can take a wry wink and be in on the joke. Or they can be so monumentally and ridiculously bad that the film is entertaining. Sharknado sort of worked. It’s not brilliant of course. Snakes on a Plane is thoroughly A-list as far as these films go and that worked. Tsunambee, sadly steps in every quicksand quagmire possible as far as these films go. It commits the ultimate cardinal sin firstly. It’s taken too seriously. Rather than something Ed Wood may have delivered, or someone able to supply a joke and punchline, Tsunambee is meandering and a bit dull.
Playing more like a Hallmark Christian film about the end of days than B movie monster film, those monster elements just don’t mix well with the bible stuff. Lets face it. The title suggests one thing, and the films threat is ludicrous. Giant bees and Zombies. It should be ridiculously goofy, either intentionally or unintentionally. Unfortunately, though shoddy at times, the film takes too long dwelling on the issue of faith and the idea of accepting and engaging with others despite differences. Okay that’s commendable in principle, though weak characterisation and frankly horrible stereotyping do little to help us care about the characters.
There is at least a degree of sincerity to it all. Ultimately the Christian angle bogs the film down and conflicts with the B-movie template, but it comes from the right place I suppose, and while the performances aren’t great, there’s a definite sense that every gives their all. Written and directed by Milko Davis (along with Thomas Matwick), the film just can’t quite nail what it wants to be. Every now and again something a bit cheesy, and knowingly ludicrous is thrown in, but the film sets it’s stall out early, and these brief moments (including the very end) just don’t gel. From the title, through poster, plot, biblical angle, tone, to the final heavy metal screamo track through the end credits, there’s absolutely no consistency.
Aesthetically this looks cheap, the visual effects are shonky and on the surface it’s got the elements that you’d expect from these kind of Asylum-esque flicks, it just lacks any of the charm of the better ones, and even at a short 80 minutes, feels like a Biblical trial to sit through. From the title and the poster I sadly expected more, but was miss-sold. And on that subject, I have to grudgingly tell you there is no Flickering Myth staff cave, although I’m sure our overlord is working on it.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Tom Jolliffe
