Flickering Myth

Geek Culture | Movies, TV, Comic Books & Video Games

I Sat Through That #4 – Meet The Parents (2000)

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In which Gerry Hayes considers Meet The Parents and punches himself in the face again and again and again… Meet The Parents, 2000. Directed by Jay Roach. Starring Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo. Screenplay by Greg Glienna. Gah! Nooo! How can one film have so much bad in it? Please, why do you […]

I Sat Through That? #3 – I, Robot (2004)

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In which Gerry Hayes dons his Converse All-Stars (vintage 2007), pops some Stevie Wonder on the JVC and copes with his crippling fear of product placement. I, Robot, 2004. Directed by Alex Proyas. Starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan and that squidgy bloke from Firefly as a shiny robot. Written by Jeff Vintar and Akiva Goldsman […]

I Sat Through That? #2 – The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

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In which Gerry Hayes wants to believe it can be better than this… The X Files: I Want To Believe, 2008. Directed by Chris Carter. Written by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. Starring David Duchovny, the lovely Gillian Anderson, Billy Connolly, Amanda Peet, X to the Z. Full disclosure: In common with many men who […]

I Sat Through That? #13 – Mission: Impossible II (2000)

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In which Gerry Hayes just can’t stop humming that tune… Mission: Impossible II, 2000. Directed by John Woo. Starring Tom Cruise, Thandie Newton, Dougray Scott. Screenplay by Robert Towne. Oh, god, who has the energy? It’s another Mission Impossible. That means insanely implausible and monstrously complicated and convoluted story-lines. It means The Cruiser running about […]

I Sat Through That? #12 – 88 Minutes (2007)

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In which Gerry Hayes repeatedly mouths the word “huh?” 88 Minutes, 2007. Directed by Jon Avnet. Starring Al Pacino (really), Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Amy Brennerman, Neal McDonough. Written by Gary Scott Thompson. 88 Minutes is one of those films you watch open-mouthed wondering how such a thing could ever be – how someone could […]

I Sat Through That? #11 – Deep Impact (1998)

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In which Gerry Hayes beats up Elijah Wood to steal his salvation-ticket for the comet-shelter. Wood’s only short and if Hayes can avoid his massive feet, he should be ok… Deep Impact, 1998. Directed by Mimi Leder. Starring Téa Leoni, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Morgan Freeman, Leelee SobieskiWritten by Bruce Joe Rubin and Michael Tolkin. […]

I Sat Through That? #9 – The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

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In which Gerry Hayes stares down the flaming maw of the fanboys and bellows “You shall not pass!” The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, 2001-2003. Time to incur the wrath of the Tolkienites. I’ll have hordes of them sending death-threats in beautifully penned but barely decipherable variants of Elvish. They’ll swarm, costumed as Middle-Earth heroes […]

I Sat Through That? #16 – Hannibal Rising (2007)

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In which Gerry Hayes wishes he was drunk… Hannibal Rising, 2007. Directed by Peter Webber. Starring Gaspard Ulliel, Li Gong, Rhys Ifans. Screenplay by Thomas Harris based on a novel by Thomas Harris. I almost don’t want to include Hannibal Rising in this column because it is one of those films that has waded so […]

I Sat Through That? #15 – The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

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In which Gerry Hayes tries to insert a USB cable into the base of his skull to avoid having to type this stuff… The Matrix Revolutions, 2003. Directed by Andy and Larry Wachowski. Starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving. Written by Andy and Larry Wachowski. Matrix III. Now don’t get me wrong […]

I Sat Through That? #14 – Quantum of Solace (2008)

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In which Gerry Hayes keeps looking around to see if John Cleese is going to pop up in a white coat, offering a titanium codpiece with a built in iPod and lemon-zester. Quantum Of Solace, 2008. Directed by Marc Forster. Starring Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Giancarlo Giannini. Written by Paul Haggis, […]