Flickering Myth

Film & TV News, Reviews and Features

I Sat Through That? #7 – Unbreakable (2000)

by

In which Gerry Hayes feels a strong urge to break something… Unbreakable, 2000. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Robin Wright Penn. Written by M. Night Shyamalan. Right, let’s get this out of the way first: I liked The Sixth Sense. There… happy? I thought it was a, mostly, well […]

I Sat Through That? #6 – Planet of the Apes (2001)

by

In which Gerry Hayes dons a ‘Trading Places’ ape-suit and prepares for some musky monkey-loving. Planet Of The Apes, 2001. Directed by Tim Burton. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Paul Giamatti, Michael Clarke Duncan and Estella Warren. Special make-up and effects by Rick Baker. Relax, nerds, it’s the remake. Take a puff […]

I Sat Through That? #5 – Castaway (2000)

by

In which Gerry Hayes rolls up his trouser-legs and paddles on the shores of FedEx Island… Castaway, 2000. Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Starring Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt, A. Volleyball. Written by William Broyles, Jr. Astonishingly, the story goes that FedEx were reluctant to have their brand used in this film (didn’t like the idea that […]

I Sat Through That #4 – Meet The Parents (2000)

by

In which Gerry Hayes considers Meet The Parents and punches himself in the face again and again and again… Meet The Parents, 2000. Directed by Jay Roach. Starring Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo. Screenplay by Greg Glienna. Gah! Nooo! How can one film have so much bad in it? Please, why do you […]

I Sat Through That? #3 – I, Robot (2004)

by

In which Gerry Hayes dons his Converse All-Stars (vintage 2007), pops some Stevie Wonder on the JVC and copes with his crippling fear of product placement. I, Robot, 2004. Directed by Alex Proyas. Starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan and that squidgy bloke from Firefly as a shiny robot. Written by Jeff Vintar and Akiva Goldsman […]

I Sat Through That? #2 – The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

by

In which Gerry Hayes wants to believe it can be better than this… The X Files: I Want To Believe, 2008. Directed by Chris Carter. Written by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. Starring David Duchovny, the lovely Gillian Anderson, Billy Connolly, Amanda Peet, X to the Z. Full disclosure: In common with many men who […]

I Sat Through That? #13 – Mission: Impossible II (2000)

by

In which Gerry Hayes just can’t stop humming that tune… Mission: Impossible II, 2000. Directed by John Woo. Starring Tom Cruise, Thandie Newton, Dougray Scott. Screenplay by Robert Towne. Oh, god, who has the energy? It’s another Mission Impossible. That means insanely implausible and monstrously complicated and convoluted story-lines. It means The Cruiser running about […]

I Sat Through That? #12 – 88 Minutes (2007)

by

In which Gerry Hayes repeatedly mouths the word “huh?” 88 Minutes, 2007. Directed by Jon Avnet. Starring Al Pacino (really), Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Amy Brennerman, Neal McDonough. Written by Gary Scott Thompson. 88 Minutes is one of those films you watch open-mouthed wondering how such a thing could ever be – how someone could […]

I Sat Through That? #11 – Deep Impact (1998)

by

In which Gerry Hayes beats up Elijah Wood to steal his salvation-ticket for the comet-shelter. Wood’s only short and if Hayes can avoid his massive feet, he should be ok… Deep Impact, 1998. Directed by Mimi Leder. Starring Téa Leoni, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Morgan Freeman, Leelee SobieskiWritten by Bruce Joe Rubin and Michael Tolkin. […]

I Sat Through That? #9 – The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

by

In which Gerry Hayes stares down the flaming maw of the fanboys and bellows “You shall not pass!” The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, 2001-2003. Time to incur the wrath of the Tolkienites. I’ll have hordes of them sending death-threats in beautifully penned but barely decipherable variants of Elvish. They’ll swarm, costumed as Middle-Earth heroes […]