Sometimes I Think About Dying, 2023.
Directed by Rachel Lambert.
Starring Daisy Ridley, Dave Merheje, Parvesh Cheena, Marcia DeBonis, Megan Stalter, Brittany O’Grady, Bree Elrod, Lauren Beveridge, Ayanna Berkshire, Sean Tarjyoto, Jeb Berrier, Rich Hinz, June Eisler, Audrey Blanchet, Nicole Marie Green, Treasure Lunan, Andy Perkins, and Vin Shambry.
SYNOPSIS:
Fran, who likes to think about dying, makes the new guy at work laugh, which leads to dating and more. Now the only thing standing in their way is Fran herself.
Like plenty of films do, the opening moments of director Rachel Lambert’s Sometimes I Think About Dying (with a screenplay from Stefanie Abel Horowitz, Kevin Armento, and Katy Wright-Mead) establish the daily routine of its central character. The difference here is that the life of Fran (a nuanced, compelling term from Daisy Ridley) is mundane, an empty existence without any significant hobbies to latch onto. Whether or not this has given her a depressive mindset, she also happens to daydream about different methods for death and what they feel like (which, in turn, allows for striking shot compositions from cinematographer Dustin Lane to capture the serenity of it all.)
Working inside a standard office building seemingly only adds to this unfulfilling life, although Fran’s coworkers (an impressive, idiosyncratic ensemble) are a bit more lively, finding enjoyment where they can through interacting with one another. The team is especially happy for Carol (Marcia DeBonis), a peppy older woman excitedly on the verge of retirement and celebrating the late stages of her life, seeing the world with her husband, as society has drilled into people is how life supposedly works, you do your time in the workforce, you reap the benefits. In contrast, it’s hard to imagine Fran ever being happy about anything. She doesn’t know what to write on the going-away card or what to say to Carol when she is passing down office supplies before leaving.
Nevertheless, Carol’s replacement is the odd but well-meaning and social Robert (Dave Merheje), who becomes interested in talking to Fran after an awkward initial gathering of meeting the team, where everyone goes around in a circle announcing their favorite food. She laughs at one of his jokes, which he takes as a sign to slide into her Slack direct messages and continue the conversation where he gets corrected about the definition of cheese and curds. It’s weird and dry, exemplifying how this exchange actually would go down between these individuals who are strange for unique reasons.
Robert isn’t necessarily charming, but goodhearted and silly enough to counteract Fran’s quiet loneliness in the right ways to where she agrees to go see a movie with him. He also happens to be a huge movie buff, in general, with an expansive physical collection, whereas she finds herself unmoved by the storytelling. The film isn’t so much interested in what activities would bring Fran some joy, although that question is consistently lingering in the mind. That unwillingness to judge Fran or search for and comment on a specific aspect wrong with her is also what makes the film effective, especially once it gets around to the climactic point of acknowledging that simply being a person and existing in this world is hard.
This all can sometimes feel a bit directionless and repetitive (which one could easily argue is the point, even if it does feel like this short story which was originally based on a play has been stretched out a bit too far), but it does have clever ideas for engaging sequences, such as a role-playing murder mystery party that allows Fran to get creative about her character’s death and open up to her peers even if it is in a somewhat dark context unexpected to them. There is a sense that she does realize that she probably shouldn’t bottle up these emotions, but that it’s hard to open up about something as bleak as fantasizing about that. As a result, she pushes away Robert for asking the most basic getting-to-know-you questions about her life.
Sometimes I Think About Dying is not about fixing Fran, but rather about the importance of connection and talking to someone trustworthy about serious, darker topics. The workforce expectations society places on people are unfair and rough, and the promised benefits might not always come to fruition, but we can and should support each other out wherever we can. It’s okay to feel empty and sometimes think about dying.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
