The Crow. 2024.
Directed by Rupert Sanders.
Starring Bill Skarsgård, FKA Twigs, Danny Huston, Laura Birn, Jordan Bolger, Isabella Wei, Sami Bouajila, David Bowles, Dukagjin Podrimaj, Paul Maynard, Josette Simon, Karel Dobrý, Sebastian Orozco, Trigga, Darija Pavlovicová, Solo Uniacke, and Brian Caspe.
SYNOPSIS:
Soulmates Eric and Shelly are brutally murdered. Given a chance to save the love of his life, Eric must sacrifice himself and traverse the worlds of the living and the dead, seeking revenge.
A “modern reimagining” of the original 1994 film and comic books (created by James O’Barr), Rupert Sanders’s The Crow is a series of events stitched together with no buildup, logic, or momentum.
Take how goth lovebirds Eric Draven (Bill Skarsgård) and Shelly (FKA twigs) meet: he is already in a rehab facility after seemingly decades of trauma that the film vaguely alludes to in the opening and then forgets to explore, whereas she is en route to expose her filthy rich tormentor Vincent Roeg (Danny Huston in dial-a-villain for a paycheck mode) as not only a criminal, but a supernatural monster brainwashing women into murdering for him (this sounds cooler than it is, which in reality, is a goofy sounding warble noise he makes into their ears) and themselves as part of some ambiguous pact with the devil in exchange for eternal life.
Along the way, Shelly succumbs to a contrived set of circumstances that see police officers finding drugs on her, landing her in the same rehab facility as Eric. It sounds dumb on paper; in execution, it’s unintentionally hilarious. More bafflingly, Shelly is the only woman here. There appears to be minimal effort (putting it lightly) in separating men from women (which seems like a standard priority in an environment where people are meant to be healing themselves without distraction), and they fall for one another instantly. Shelly also has damning video evidence of Vincent’s strange crimes on her phone, which means she is in danger. Fortunately, none of the staff here seem to give a damn about keeping their eyes on the residents (it is unclear how much freedom they have on the establishment grounds because this film struggles to communicate even the most basic information), meaning they easily escape.
From there, the film spends an excessive amount of time trying to convince us these two druggies are in love, spending time stoned, making love, and seemingly days exploring the city even though Shelly has a target on her back. Bluntly, it’s all somewhat boring and forced. There is no need for the ludicrous meet-cute or the bonding to convey that these two people love each other. The fact that the film spends roughly 45 minutes on this and still fails to do so is rather embarrassing (Bill Skarsgård dropping in and out of his accent and cringe fashion choices don’t help.) Why waste so much time on that aspect when there is a chasm where there should be chemistry?
Eventually, the basic premise is put into motion. For those unfamiliar with The Crow, Eric and Shelly are murdered (heavily softened here, going against the edgy nature of the original.) In this version, the former ends up in a state of limbo where a gatekeeper tells him that crows are special creatures who can grant a rebirth for someone who died under tragic circumstances, with the expectation that they will do whatever it takes for vengeance and set things right. This take on the lore also dictates that Eric will be able to see Shelly again if he does this (everything in Hollywood needs to have some variation of a happy ending these days.)
Eric discovers that he is immortal and that his body regenerates any damage taken (everything from bullets to getting run over by a car), setting him on a tedious and limp path of revenge. The film remains an editing disaster, jumping from one location or exchange between characters to the next without any logical set-up. There is a scene where Eric approaches Shelly’s mom at her funeral, casually admitting he knew her daughter, only for the movie to cut to a conversation elsewhere with them talking like they have known each other for months. It’s bizarre, inept, and nonsensical storytelling.
Admittedly, the film does not hold back on the blood once Eric takes to his mission, most notably in a gnarly opera house sequence that sees him stabbing and dismembering goons in cleverly disgusting ways. If only Rupert Sanders (working with screenwriters Zach Baylin and William Josef Schneider) realized their strength in constructing brutal violence (Bill Skarsgård also embodies the silent rage well and puts on a convincing display of terror) instead of muddling characterization and halfhearted backstories, there might have been something worthwhile here. The Crow also instantly ruins that temporary goodwill by arriving at an ending that makes little sense and doesn’t seem to grasp the original’s purpose. For a movie about star-crossed soulmates, The Crow possesses no soul.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
