Samuel Brace with four ways DC can win him back after Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice…
I was left a little disheartened after Batman v Superman. It wasn’t an awful film but it wasn’t good either. It was meh. It was fine. It was everything that 99 percent of superhero movies are. It was not what I wanted. But I can be won over again. I want to be won over. DC properties, at their best, have more potential to win my heart than Marvel, but not with what they just crammed down my throat the other week. They can get me — and the people like me — back. But they need to make some changes.
Cancel Everything, Just Batman
Let’s face it, gang. Let’s just get down to brass tacks here, Batman was what was interesting about Batman v Superman, Batman — unless you’re a fan boy of a particular character — was a part of all your favourite moments in the film, Batman is what will be interesting in any DC project he is remotely apart of, Batman is Batman, and Zack Synder obviously realised this by how Bruce Wayne heavy his film was. People love Batman because he’s cool. People love Batman because he’s a bad-ass, because he’s not super powered, because he’s a person, because he’s a criminal and he knows it (I actually loved that part of BvS, one of very few).
So let’s not beat around the damn bush here and let’s go after the damn bush. DC, stop all this nonsense. Superman is lame, as a hero he makes no earthly sense. You can’t have the protagonist of your franchise be a god who can only be hurt by a green rock that is surprisingly plentiful given its alien nature. This is not interesting. You have to come up with increasingly contrived and convenient ways to defeat him. It sucks, frankly. It’s boring and Henry Cavill looks the part but honestly, he’s a pretty dull actor. The writing he’s given doesn’t help but he’s not exactly Paul Newman up there. I’d rather watch Ted Cruz deliver a speech on the minutia of practicing law than any kind of scene involving Henry and dialogue.
Batman is what is cool about DC, he is the character that kids will want to go home and dress up as, buy toys of, play video games based around his character. And Ben Affleck, even though he didn’t exactly have wonderful material, did a stand up job. I quite enjoyed his portrayal of Bruce, I would like to see more of that, but not as a supporting character in some CGI orgasm of explosions, gods and Aquamen (not a typo). Give me his Batman, directed by someone who cares more about plot, character and coherence than Mr Snyder, and pit him against Leto’s Joker (who I am very excited about) in a grand story worthy of the characters. This, if done well enough, will make DC plenty of money, and they will have a better chance of a decent film because of it.
Call Christopher Nolan and Offer Him All the Money
Now, another option, if they really wanted to be drastic, if they really wanted to rectify the mistakes made, they will drive over to Christopher Nolan’s house and offer him all the money to make another Batman film (a pipe dream I know). Just give it to him, whatever he wants, blank checks, Michael Caine, whatever. Just do it so we can get back to business here. I know Nolan didn’t want to do anymore Batman movies but you didn’t have to shit on his legacy with BvS and it’s been some years now since The Dark Knight Rises – maybe he’s more open to the idea, and wheelbarrows full of cash at his doorstep, pushed by Hans Zimmer and Wally Pfister, might nudge him across the line.
DC had something special with Nolan’s Batman trilogy, they had both a money making vehicle and critical acclaim, and even when Nolan decided he was done, that didn’t mean they had to be. They could have used the framework that he provided, the playground he had conceived and handed that over to another director who shared a similar sensibility. Imagine seeing Mr Freeze done in Nolan-esque fashion, imagine seeing Superman brought down to earth. Yes, I know, Superman is dumb, but perhaps Nolan, again coerced with piles of cash, could make this dude compelling in some way. Bale’s Batman pitted against an actual alien coming to earth could be super interesting. What the heck would this rich, psychopathic vigilante do against an alien? Not by using magic green materials, not even fighting him at all, just weaving these two characters together in a way that seems feasible given the ridiculous circumstances.
This is all silly, I know. Nolan isn’t coming back. Certainly not as a part of this new path for DC. Maybe in fifteen years, maybe he and Bale can come back withered and wise, giving us some epic vision of an ancient Batman, barely strong enough to fight anymore, only really able to use his brain and detective nous to defeat an equally aging and decrepit Joker. Ugh, I’m getting sidetracked here with fanciful thoughts of better times. But Nolan coming back would be a joyous occasion. It’s not going to happen but that’s never going to stop me from thinking about it. Where’s my TDK Blu-ray…
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Originally published April 2, 2016. Updated April 15, 2018.
