247°F, 2011.
Directed by Levan Bakhia and Beqa Jguburia.
Starring Scout Taylor-Compton, Christina Ulloa, Travis Van Winkle, Michael Copon and Tyler Mane.
SYNOPSIS:
A bunch of vacationing twenty-something’s get locked in a sauna. Trapped, scared and facing soaring temperatures, will they survive?
I got a DVD through the post last week, alongside a press release I grew to love purely for its honesty. It promised the entertainment of breasts and pecs that would allow for unparalleled eye candy and a steamy location that would give the excuse for these breasts and pecs to appear. Survival horror fans, for example those who enjoyed Buried (my sister’s spoiler free synopsis? ‘It’s rubbish, he dies in the end’), would enjoy the struggle as these characters try to escape a locked sauna. So was it any good?
Well, for starters, the press release was right. There are breasts and pecs, in equal measure, so that’s that off the checklist. Also Wade (Mane) is a big hairy dude with a dog. His introduction and character in general are a tad mixed. Whenever he talks, he seems like a great bloke, but the character’s actions paint a wholly unneeded sinister under current. Misdirected tension, if you will. It’s edited and shot sometimes to make him look like a serial killer when he’s just a guy after some fireworks.
But what about the rest of the tension? It starts off atmospherically enough, with a car crash sequence ending in tragedy for Jenna (Taylor-Compton) as she sees her boyfriend die next to her.
Cut to three years later (and the lacklustre music, I sometimes thought wittily) and Jenna, Renee (Ulloa), Michael (Copon) and Ian (Van Winkle) are heading off to Wade’s cabin for a relaxing weekend and a huge pagan party.
I wish I could put some sort of cliché film reviewer thing where I say ‘the dialogue was scintillating!’, but… well, with such lines as ‘I like Jenna.’ and ‘These are the type of rocks you pour water on and then you get steam, right?’ the dialogue tries too hard to be small talk. It succeeds in replicating a conversation that’s probably being had by thousands of people everyday, but this is a movie. It’s supposed to be entertaining.
On the opposite end of the scale, the sets look like they’re part of a film set. I don’t think anyone lives in that cabin. It’s too clean cut, it’s too perfect. Wade’s a nice guy, sure, but he’s the type of guy who’d make your cabin look good enough, then go out and buy you some beers. He’s not Martha Stewart.
He does have a nice sauna though. It’s got wooden floors, wooden walls, wooden ceilings (wood denotes that the place is handcrafted and natural, while also bringing up the question of how many splinters Wade gets in his supposed paradise). There’s those rocks, you know, the ones you pour water on and then you get steam. Unfortunately, the heat inside isn’t really translated onto film. Decreasing the tension, it’s left to the actors to show us how hot it is (‘Ooh, it’s hot’ must be said at least a dozen times to remind us). Milk really would be a bad choice.
At the beginning it is, in fact, anti-tension. I call it ‘noisnet’, and it’s when a net of noise surrounds you as you watch a movie. Noises are made, things happen, but when you think about it nothing actually happens. You sit there watching a movie, waiting for things to get started, willing for characters to do something instead of going into the sauna, going outside for a swim in the lake, going into the sauna again, going and have a swim again, then going back into the sauna saying ‘Ooh it’s hot’.
Performances are good. Taylor-Compton especially as the unnerved, problem riddled one of the bunch. Van Winkle plays the straight man, essentially, trying to hold the group together, and so doesn’t by nature have any stand out moments. Ulloa successfully brings across the idea of putting up with her boyfriend’s problems while also being quite imposing, without making her character unlikeable. The same cannot be said for the character of Michael. From the moment he comes on screen, which seems unfair on my part but that’s just how I feel. With his annoying little laugh, Michael is the one you hate. Not love to hate, mind. Every time he’s on screen you’re willing someone to punch him in the face. It’s a wonder anyone, least of all the wise old Wade, puts up with him.
But even with the characters and situation all set up, some of the friction seems forced. Even during the physical fights, you can see some of it coming. It really escalates quickly. I mean, it really got out of hand fast. The guy who majored in science decides to mix water with electricity. Wonder what happens to him… though what he does in the end is decidedly unexpected and yet after watching it seems to be the only thing that’d fit.
Even though I only mentioned it once, the music is a mixed bag. At times it doesn’t work at all, being completely misplaced. At others it fills the screen with tension. The direction is the same as well. Shot choices are at times amateur, looking like snippets from a reality TV show, which doesn’t really meld well with some of the other fantastically composed and lit shots. The lighting seems to be on the verge of criminally dark at times though. It shouldn’t be a struggle to see things, and no shot should be overlooked by the audience because nothing’s visible.
What could’ve been an indie-type flick, perhaps with some strange overtones, ends up being a little cliché. The characters we’ve seen before and the unique setting and scenario are unfortunately a little wasted. The emotional problems kept buried and bought up in Jenna aren’t used to a full effect, instead they just sort of happen. Perhaps it’s the typical way of thinking, but it feels like this film needed a resolution to everything it bought up.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★ ★
Matt Smith
Originally published March 18, 2013. Updated April 11, 2018.
