Stash House, 2012.
Directed by Eduardo Rodriguez.
Starring Dolph Lundgren, Jon Huertas, Briana Evigan and Sean Faris.
SYNOPSIS:
After moving into their new dream home, a couple discover that the previous owner was a drug tsar and find themselves targeted by professional killers who want to reclaim the stash of drugs.
With legendary action producer Joel Silver’s name attached and Dolph Lundgren’s face on the cover, Stash House – coming hot on the heels of the release of The Expendables 2 – should promise plenty of carnage. After Dark Films, a low budget production company from Silver, specialising in action films (and horror), have already released Dragon Eyes with Jean-Claude Van Damme, and have a slew of films coming out with recognisable action names. This is strictly straight to video stuff, even though After Dark (and G2 pictures) released their first wave of actioners in US cinemas for a week earlier this summer. Still with Silvers name on cover and whichever Expendable star they happen to get for the lead, it’s a surefire money maker, particularly given the low budgets outlaid.
Stash House is kind of Panic Room-lite. It’s a simple premise. A young couple buy a house out of a foreclosure. It’s a steal, but it seems not without its problems. During the first night they find a whole load of heroin stashed in the walls. A couple of criminals (with Lundgren taking chief villain role) try to break in the hi-tech secured house, seemingly to get to the drugs. As it transpires they are there for something else entirely. It’s a thin plot and that aside the dynamics focus primarily on the dull couple.
The cast are pretty poor. As one half of the couple in question, Briana Evigan is okay. She’s likeable and has an okay presence but there’s absolutely nothing original or interesting at all about her role. Sean Faris stars as her husband and he’s pretty woeful. Faris is starting a career based mostly on his looks it would seem. He’s a poor man’s Keanu Reeves, or even Paul Walker, but he’s not even a patch on those two as an actor, even in their younger days. He’s a charisma-void unable to suitably emote what is required. He’s also got a rare gift of being incredibly hammy and completely wooden at the same time. The gurning facial expressions Faris pulls at times are one of the film’s more entertaining aspects. Dolph gets the best role and gives the best performance, although it’s not saying much at all. He still offers plenty of required intensity and a small degree of enigma about his character.
Action-wise the film has very little. There’s zero tension and no real set pieces. The confined setting means that in turn there must be a taut script and engaging performances to carry the film through. There isn’t. After a reasonably bright start, before an okay ending there’s a huge, dragging lull in the middle. Lundgren’s presence alone is pretty much what carries the picture but he deserves more and so does his audience. With Silver’s name in the poster there should be more bang for your buck. Dragon Eyes proved fairly mediocre but had enough well-crafted action to entertain.
Eduardo Rodriguez’s direction is flat and he’s not aided by an uninspired and formulaic screenplay. The film, shot in HD, has poor cinematography. The problem with filming HD now is that it picks up low light better than film. As a result sometimes laziness, or cheapness kicks in on low budget films (and big to be honest) and scenes are shot using either natural light or minimum lighting set ups. What we get in Stash House are too many scenes caked in too much darkness and shadow. Sometimes you can’t see what’s going on. When you can’t glimpse a characters face clearly and it’s not an artistic decision, you have problems. This was obviously shot quick and cheap and it shows. The score by Luis Ascanio is also incredibly poor. It never fits; it never compliments the film or adds any sort of atmosphere or tension, and during the action it simply grates.
Overall Stash House is completely unremarkable and a pretty pointless waste of Lundgren’s presence and star-power. It’s sadly not even bad enough to be unintentionally funny. It’s just stuck in the uninteresting void of complete mediocrity. For more suitable Lundgren video carnage, One in the Chamber (released last week) is far more worthwhile.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Tom Jolliffe
Originally published September 3, 2012. Updated April 11, 2018.
