The Flickering Myth writing team count down to Christmas by discussing their favourite festive movies; next up is Tom Jolliffe with Rocky IV….
When considering my favourite Christmas film, my thoughts weren’t first cast to movies about Santa, or Christmas spirit, or a kid left alone by unfit parents to protect the house against Joe Pesci, my first thoughts drifted to action classics which just happened to be set over the yuletide holidays. Crimbo was incidental, but my mind went firstly to Die Hard and Lethal Weapon. Let’s face it, they’re the bee’s knees when it comes to action cinema, and they just happened to feature the odd Christmas tree in the mise-en-scene. I’ve never been a huge fan of Xmas movie schmaltz. I do like a dose of It’s A Wonderful Life as much as the next guy, but equally I love to see something as pessimistic and twisted as Bad Santa (the finest movie featuring Santa in the title, ever made).
However in a gormless reminiscing daze of days gone by, as I sat and pondered, mouth agape, tongue protruding and eyes misty, I couldn’t shake the image of two boxing gloves colliding and exploding. I’m talking the death of Apollo Creed, the unsettling romance between weird brother in law and definitive 80’s robot, and the training montage to end all training montages. I am of course talking about Rocky IV. Now it’s a Christmas film for one, but furthermore, for me, it feels inexorably linked with the tinsel season. From first seeing it as a young boy and being blown away by the larger than life battle betwixt man (Rocky) and super-man (Ivan), to countless re-watches, often around that time of year (if it wasn’t on TV, the VHS, which was never allowed to accumulate dust, was played), Rocky IV became a festive staple in my household for me and my brother.
Now with the gaining of (something close to) maturity, looking critically over the film it’s quite obviously not a brilliant piece of artistic work. It’s unbelievable, cheesy and silly, but in that respect adulthood has given me a whole new love and appreciation for the film because of this realisation. It’s one of the dumbest movies ever made. It’s pure schlock. It has little logic and almost no sense, but damn it, I defy anyone not to still feel pumped watching Rocky IV. The many montages kick in between the two fights which book end the film, the film breezes by and Sly, while a world away from his Oscar nominated turn in the first movie (when Balboa was more a fleshed out character and less a comic book hero) manages to have you routing for him all the way. There’s no subtlety in it but the MTV stylistics, brilliant soundtrack (one of the all-time best work out accompaniments for those trying to think of tunes for the next gym session) and outlandishly cartoony (but brilliantly staged) fight sequences make for the most easily re-watchable films of the entire franchise. It runs well under 90 minutes too. There’s little regard for depth here, it’s essentially two fights and a couple of montages, and lots of synthesizer pazzaz, but it’s so easy to watch. If I catch it on TV, no matter what point it’s on, I have to see it through to the end, to marvel at log chopping, slow motion yelling, slow motion spit, Grizzly Adam’s beard, and Rocky ending the cold war with one eloquent, well intentioned speech.
Rocky, despite getting gradually sillier from the first to the fourth film, still managed to have a lot of heart. It’s testament to Sly as a craftsman, who brought to screen one of cinemas most endearing characters. The third and fourth may have ventured almost into cartoon territory but nevertheless the formula still worked, the audience, largely, were kept onside and the series is loaded with iconic moments, not merely limited to the first film, which is a genuine classic.
As important to a Rocky film as the man himself, is the villain of the piece. Here played magnificently by Dolph Lundgren. He may only have a few lines in the whole film but his screen presence is immense. Be it the sheer size of him or the ice cold steely eyed glare, Lundgren makes for the most imposing opponent Rocky ever faced. He was beyond making it a man to man fight. For the first time it felt like man versus something else, be it behemoth, cyborg, or whatever you’d think of him as a kid watching. Genuinely, even with that basic knowledge from a young age, that the hero always wins, you couldn’t see how Rocky could win. Ivan Drago seemed unstoppable and also killed one of the series other icons, Apollo Creed.
So this Christmas, as with most, I shall at some point be watching Rocky IV. I’ll watch in comforting awe as Rocky faces his biggest challenge. I’ll probably tap my toes a bit when Hearts On Fire kicks in, maybe even get up and start jogging manically on the spot when I think the Mrs won’t see me (inevitably she’ll walk in and catch me, hanging her head in shame). Almost just as inevitably as watching and getting pumped up by the film, I’ll probably get the renewed vigour to start working out harder. After all one can’t sit through a film which is 80% oiled brawn and not decide that a more rigorous exercise regime is required to shift the pie paunch. I’ll slap on the amazeballs score from Vince DiCola as well as the epically good (and cheesy) soundtrack. The vigour will of course last about two weeks and be somewhat quelled by too much turkey, mince pies and other Christmas munchies, but for that brief moment I’ll picture myself with thighs like tree trunks, biceps like boulders, pecks like monster truck hubcaps, and drenched in baby oil.
Tom Jolliffe
Originally published December 6, 2013. Updated December 20, 2018.
