Java Heat, 2013.
Directed by Conor Allyn.
Starring Kellan Lutz, Ario Bayu, Mickey Rourke, Frans Tambuan, Atiqah Hasiholan.
SYNOPSIS:
A Muslim detective works together with an American to track down the criminal responsible for a series of bombings on the Indonesian island of Java.
According to the intro line of this mediocre cop-actioner, the archipelago of Indonesia is the fourth most populous nation in the world. This fact is quite possibly the most important thing to take from a dip into these particular South East Asian waters.
Close geographically to the breakout Jakarta set The Raid, but a million miles away in excitement and quality, this straight-to-vid style mish-mash is a something of a mess.
Following Kellan Lutz’s undercover Marine as he attempts to uncover a string of bombing raids on Java, the movie attempts to bring some of the flair and adrenalin of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s adventure martial arts flicks. But while past titles that this one is striving so desperately to emulate relied on stars such as Van Damme, Stallone and Seagal (yeah, basically The Expendables 25 years ago…) to carry off the moves, this one has Lutz: a Twilight alumnus with model looks and no discernible close combat or acting skills.
An uncomfortable mixture of buddy movie and Far East kick-em up, Java Heat rarely gets worked up to full-throttle. The best performance is from Ario Bayu’s faintly bemused Lieutenant Hashim, forced to team up with Lutz’s frat-boy on tour. His character at least has something marginally related to depth, whereas the rest are mere ciphers.
The stilted dialogue and tepid background to the Indonesian socio political situation feels particularly underdeveloped. But most alarmingly for an action film, there are long periods where little or no action takes place. Always a bit of a mistake, that one.
And then there’s Mickey Rourke. Oh, Mickey. Displaying a cod French accent straight from the playground and a ravaged, slow on the uptake fighting style (more the wrangler than The Wrestler) his Interpol wanted art dealer/dodgy geezer Malik should be more entertaining than it is. As it is, it’s all just a bit silly and slightly confusing.
Java Heat? More like Java luke-warm.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Robert W Monk is a freelance journalist and film writer.
