My Spy: The Eternal City, 2024.
Directed by Peter Segal.
Starring Dave Bautista, Chloe Coleman, Kristen Schaal, Ken Jeong, Anna Faris, Craig Robinson, Flula Borg, Nicola Correia, Damude Noah, Dalton Danby, Devere Rogers, Billy Barratt, Taeho K, Paul du Toit, and Lara Babalola.
SYNOPSIS:
JJ, a veteran CIA agent, reunites with his protégé Sophie, in order to prevent a catastrophic nuclear scheme aimed at the Vatican, which disrupts a high school choir trip to Italy.
Theoretically, it makes logical sense for My Spy: The Eternal City (directed by a returning Peter Segal, once again writing alongside Erich Hoeber and Jon Hoeber) to do the opposite of the first movie. Set five years later with Chloe Coleman’s Sophie now a teenager, it’s believable that she is less excited and taken aback by Dave Bautista’s espionage agent JJ, more concerned with developing crushes on boys and choir (something she has only taken up as a way to get to know a boy she admires from afar while being oblivious that her best friend has feelings for her.)
JJ has opted out of fieldwork in exchange for a desk job to ensure a safer lifestyle while looking after Sophie as a father figure, and this has mostly become a nuisance to her. With her mom on a work trip, the two are alone together and about to face the music regarding just how much their dynamic has shifted (Sophie also doesn’t care much for the rigorous acrobatic combat training JJ puts her through, as made evident by not being able to pull off a certain move that no doubt will come into play later when things have transitioned into another action-adventure story.) The connection is loosening, which causes JJ to sign on as a chaperone for the high school choir trip to Italy set to perform at the Vatican.
Unsurprisingly, some criminals (Flula Borg) are up to no good, digging up lost Russian bombs to be used for a rather generic ploy, blackmailing world leaders into money (many of whom will be watching the choir performance mentioned above.) This also means that while JJ is setting up invisible tripwires and other means of surveillance to make sure the kids follow curfew while also taking a relaxed approach to some of those same rules (if he makes himself appealing to Sophie’s peers, maybe she too will come to see him as cool again), danger quickly erupts leading to rescues and spy shenanigans.
There also isn’t much to say here because, as one can probably tell, there isn’t much fun in creating forced friction between the two protagonists. A comedic duo (Ken Jeong and Kristen Schall) also returns alongside the wasted addition of Craig Robinson, desperately gunning for juvenile laughs that never come. Meanwhile, noteworthy comedic veteran Anna Faris also joins the cast in a villain role, largely making no impression; you might have problems when she, of all actors, feels flat and lifeless. Somewhat confounding is that there are numerous references to the past (accompanied by brief flashback images), except these are all new villains, to my knowledge. Whatever they are rambling about either comes across as fuzzy or is boilerplate villain motivation 101.
Even the chemistry between Dave Bautista and Chloe Coleman that flowed effortlessly and carried the first film feels strained here. Aside from Dave Bautista busting out a Batista Bomb on one of the generic henchmen, there isn’t a single smile to be had here. Dave Bautista is always a reliable presence who is skilled at portraying a clumsy goofball (among other types of characters), but even he simply isn’t that funny here, aside from one running joke where he keeps accidentally stepping on objects street vendors are selling.
Everyone feels present out of obligation rather than invested in this sequel. That’s also not to say there is anything particularly incompetent here, but that My Spy: The Eternal City practically evaporates from the mind while watching it. Scratch that; a sequence involving some hideous CGI birds is hard to forget for the wrong reasons. Otherwise, it is so uneventful and lifeless that watching it feels like being hit with one of the same neurotoxins as Dave Bautista.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
