Don’t Open Till Christmas, 1984.
Directed by Edmund Purdom.
Starring Edmund Purdom, Alan Lake, Belinda Mayne, Gerry Sundquist and Mark Jones.
SYNOPSIS:
A serial killer is stalking the streets of London, specifically targeting people dressed up as Santa Claus, and Scotland Yard is at a loss as to who the culprit might be. However, as the bodies begin to quickly pile up, and the city is gripped by fear and paranoia, it soon becomes clear that the connection between the killer and the Chief Inspector investigating the case is perhaps closer than anyone previously thought.
Of course when you think of combining Christmas with horror the first thing that springs to some people is the “killer Santa” story. Well, in today’s review Don’t Open Till Christmas we have a nice little reversal of that story line, it’s not Santa that’s doing the murdering, but it’s certainly Santa that’s being murdered. Although those expecting the film to be an entertaining piece of 80s slasher cheese will be disappointed, as this film is just plain rubbish quite frankly.
The acting from the cast is passable, nothing particularly spectacular, but it does the job for a film of this genre. Director/star Edmund Purdom (making his second appearance in one of my reviews after Pieces in October) gives a decent performance as Chief Inspector Harris, although he does seem to spend a good deal of the film doing impressions of his superiors.
Also, it should be noted that the presence of his character in the story is rather awkwardly done to put it one way. Purdom’s Harris is one of the main protagonists for much of the story, being the chief investigator into the murder spree, but about halfway through he just sort of vanishes from the film, only to reappear for a dinner scene and the very end in which gets a present more explosive an elderly relative after eating Brussel sprouts. Even though it’s ultimately revealed that – SPOILERS – he is, in fact, the killer’s brother, he still doesn’t hang around enough to be present when the big reveal is made, leaving it for other characters to make the reveal instead.
The best performer is probably Alan Lake (who sadly took his own life before this film’s release) as Giles, who the film makes quite obvious is the killer slaying the Santa’s of London. While hardly one of the most memorable horror villain performances, Lake does try his best to portray a deranged psychopath, with his manic expressions and sinister voice, he manages to do a solid job with the part. Also it helps that he looks simultaneously terrifying and hilarious in his killer mask.
This is certainly one of the sleaziest Christmas films I’ve ever watched, with it giving us a presentation of a seedy London that the tourist boards would be horrified to see displayed so prominently. The sleaziness is perhaps exemplified by the fact that nearly all the Santas who are murdered come off as really quite unpleasant characters, with many of them being drunks, perverts or both, and while this sort of grubby atmosphere is initially entertaining, it does wear thin very quickly with the film becoming a fairly dull affair.
The death scenes it should be noted however are pretty gruesome and some did make me wince when watching, the worst are probably one in which the killer decides to take a knife to Santa’s bollocks and decides that another Santa could do with a Christmas castration, with the results of both murders being incredibly gruesome and unpleasant.
This film is incredibly messy in the way it is put together, with characters being introduced as a possible killer or as potential supporting player etc, only for them to be jettisoned completely with often a line of dialogue explaining their absence for the rest of the film. These moments are especially obvious when Purdom’s character makes a sudden disappearance from the film; with it rather clumsily explained that he has been suddenly suspended from the police force via awkward exposition.
This is mainly because of the films behind the scenes troubles, with it taking two years to make the film. With problems primarily arising from director/leading man Purdom decision to suddenly quit the film midway through filming, leaving the producers scrambling to re-write scenes and re-film moments to get the film finished, only for the leading man to suddenly return.
Regardless of the manner in which the film was put together, you’re better off not watching Don’t Open Till Christmas. If you like sleazy exploitation films from the 80s you might get a kick out of this, but others will likely be turned off by its graphic violence and generally unpleasant atmosphere. This is one film you should definitely avoid opening on Christmas Day.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Graeme Robertson
Originally published December 18, 2016. Updated April 16, 2018.
