Panama, 2022.
Directed by Mark Neveldine.
Starring Cole Hauser, Mel Gibson, Kate Katzman, Charlie Weber, Jackie Cruz, Victor Turpin, Simon Phillips, Kiara Liz, and Mauricio Hénao.
SYNOPSIS:
An ex-marine is hired by a defense contractor to travel to Panama to complete an arms deal. In the process, he becomes involved with the U.S. invasion of Panama and learns an important lesson about the true nature of political power.
“Let me tell you, there’s nothing more rock ‘n roll than taking out the bad guys for the red, white and blue” is the opening line of narration of Panama, followed by a glimpse of Cole Hauser’s ex-marine James Becker dispatching of an intruder. All of this suggests the remaining 90 minutes will be just as self-aware and absurd, especially since the movie comes courtesy of Mark Neveldine (most known for the wildly entertaining and outrageous Crank flicks).
There’s even a tragic backstory for Becker, depressed and unable to get back in the game from feeling survivor’s guilt over the loss of his wife. He visits the gravesite every day in a drunken stupor, occasionally with his sister-in-law Tatyana (Kate Katzman) for companionship (she is also offscreen for the rest of the movie until she is brought back in the most lazily convenient way imaginable). Nevertheless, defense contractor Stark (a bored Mel Gibson with nothing to do until he gets a modern-day Bruce Willis climax, showing up to save the day) believes it’s time for Becker to stop grieving, placing him on a mission in Panama to connect de facto Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega to drugs and other crimes.
Mark Neveldine also isn’t trading lunacy for an opportunity to say something of note involving America’s 1989 involvement in Panama. The narrative is generic as they come and practically sleepwalks throughout every plot beat and action sequence. There is a segment in the jungle where characters start blasting rock music before opening fire on their enemies, except the music is so bland it might be stock rock music. The only reason I’m convinced it’s not is that there is someone credited to the music. As for the mission at hand, the story takes Becker inside a drug cartel, a casino, and no less than three sex scenes (and not a single gratuitous one of them is exciting or evokes real passion) with a femme fatale type who is also a wasted, boring character.
Even when the narrative finally catches up to its opening sequence and teases to go in the direction of shootouts galore (not that this would necessarily be a good thing considering firefights here consists of haphazardly edited together with shots of characters pulling the trigger), it still fizzles out and seems more interested in rushing through numerous epilogues, skipping over anything resembling a climax. There is also no reason to care even when the film does kill off its important characters or bring other ones back to place them in some last-minute danger, as nothing is remotely developed between them.
Perhaps the most crippling flaw here is that Cole Hauser is a dull, uninteresting lead. In his defense, Panama isn’t leaning into schlock or chaos that would give him more to work with. The locales already don’t feel authentic, and neither does the vibe of these events inspired truth, but when actual historical is spliced in, it’s only more jarring to watch. Panama is like if the drug from Crank manipulating one’s adrenaline and slowing down the heart was a movie dosage; for 95 minutes, you stare at the screen fading away.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
