With A Good Day to Die Hard getting a 12A certificate, Luke Owen examines the lost art of editing movies for TV…
In the 80s and 90s it was common place for you to find edited versions of 18 rated movies on TV. In fact to this day you’ll still see edited versions of movies with scenes cut out, lines of dialogue changed and different shots used. For some, these are the only versions of the movie that they know as they’d recorded them on VHS off the telly. I’ll never forget the day that I watched Back to the Future on DVD and found out that Marty would see some “serious s**t” as opposed to some “serious stuff”.
With the announcement of A Good Day to Die Hard getting a 12A rating here in good ol’ Blighty (despite our across the pond neighbours getting the full R rated treatment), I thought I’d look back at the good old days when films weren’t cut to appease the censors and were instead just altered to get on TV.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
In this famous scene where Walter smashes up a stranger’s car, we get a bizarre edited line to replace Walter’s outrage at Larry for “F’ing a stranger in the A”. While the rest of the scene is just dubbed to remove the multiple F bombs, the replaced line sees Walter punish Larry for “finding a stranger in the alps”…
That doesn’t even make sense…
Die Hard 2 (1990)
The franchise that brought us here in the first place has seen some questionable TV-editing in its time but none more famous than Die Hard 2. Aside from the use of “freaking” to replace the numerous F-bombs, we also get John McClane tell Capt. Lorenzo that he has “fat feet” and Colonel Stewart give a reporter two words – “joke” and “you” (you can guess which the edited line was). However these all pale in comparison to the infamous “Yippie Ki-yay” where he replaces the all-to-sweary last word with “Mr. Falcon”…
You can see all the edits here:
Pulp Fiction (1994)
“What ain’t no country I ever heard of, do they speak in English in What? English little sucker do you speak it?!”
The Usual Suspects (1995)
Bryan Singer’s crime thriller isn’t really known for its abundance of bad language (it’s mostly famous for its twist ending) but there is one scene in particular where our main characters have to say the same line of dialogue while in a line-up. The line in question sees our ‘heroes’ ask for a set of keys before accusing them of performing fallatio in a rude format. In this edited for TV experience, the dubbing replaces this insult with the slightly lighter “fairy godmother”.
I’m sure Stephen Baldwin manages to get an F-Bomb in there somehow…
Scarface (1983)
Producer Martin Bergman correctly asks how are they going to replace the 160 uses of the F word in a movie? Well, with some creative word choices and good dubbing, they actually managed to do it. For example, it turns out that Tony Montana got his scars from “eating pineapple” and that this city is “just one big chicken, waiting to be plucked”. Elvira even tells him off for questioning “when and how she makes it”.
Robocop (1987)
Not exactly known for holding back with its language and violence is Paul Verhoven’s 1987 sci-fi classic Robocop is a masterclass in TV edits as demonstrated beautifully in this video:
Ghostbusters (1984)
But Ghostbusters is a PG? How could it possibly need editing for TV? Well two scenes really call for it (apart from Ernie Hudson saying that he’s seen “stuff” that will turn you white) in an example of Ivan Reitman shooting two versions of the scenes to put in the edited-for-TV version. We start with Ray calling Walter Peck “Wally Wick” instead of insinuating that he doesn’t have a penis:
And in our second clip, Peter Venkman tells Walter Peck that he will sue his “funny face” for wrongful prosecution. Honestly, I think this version is funnier.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
A film that was made for one line and one line only – and it’s a line that had to be edited for TV and (ironically) airplanes. While some of the above examples have been questionable at times, this TV edit is a work on pure genius.
Pure genius.
Are there any TV edits that you remember we didn’t include on this list? If you do, leave them your Monkey Fighting comments in the Monday to Friday box below.
Originally published February 11, 2013. Updated November 6, 2019.
