Anghus Houvouras discusses the most disappointing films of all time; next up is the Quentin Tarantino / Robert Rodriguez double feature Grindhouse….
Disappointment is always a product of expectations. Some will tell you that a disappointing film may be more likely due to those expectations being unrealistic. The product of ‘hype’ or the kind of fan fueled frenzy that makes the final product almost destined to disappoint.
Most of the disappointments we’ve talked about have been sequels. Movies that have a foundation of quality or popularity. The letdown comes from the follow up not being able to reproduce the elements that made the previous film so popular. When discussing disappointments, it’s difficult to find an example that isn’t a sequel, prequel, or adaptation. So for this column I attempted to dive deep and find an example that is none of those things. It wasn’t easy, but I found one.
Grindhouse.
Grindhouse was a massive disappointment. A failed experiment that was designed to give two filmmakers a massive playground where their exploitation tinged imaginations could run buck wild. The format was nontraditional: A double feature featuring two of the most popular independent mavericks complete with fake trailers peppered throughout by some of the rising stars of genre cinema.
There are few directors with a track record as impressive as Quentin Tarantino. A hit with both critics and fans, his pop culture blender style of filmmaking has made him one of the most unique voices in cinema. Robert Rodriguez had made a name for himself making small, stylish independent films. Then, he turned into a digital pioneer keeping the independent spirit while embracing new technology.
A double feature from these two filmmakers seemed like the perfect pairing. Tarantino would provide a high octane driving thriller featuring a stuntman serial killer called Death Proof. Rodriguez would helm an action heavy zombie story, Planet Terror. It seemed like it couldn’t fail. And yet, it did. Epically.
Grindhouse is a chore of a film. A movie with too many ‘toos’. Too long. Too indulgent. Too prone to excess. Too meta. The whole movie plays like an endless primer on exploitation cinema. Like a theme park ride to give audiences a simulation to the experience of seeing these kind of movies in their heyday. Like all disappointments, the intentions were noble. The execution however was painful. The gags all felt forced. Adding film grain and including jump cuts to try and recreate the feel of watching a 1970’s film was embarrassingly self indulgent. Perhaps these flourishes would have been less grating if the actual films have been better.
Planet Terror is a generally inoffensive little movie, but it loses something in the intention. Rodriguez had already delivered a handful of great, pulpy action films. By trying to expose the tropes and the flaws of the genre, he actually ended up making something that felt like a brutally long satire and less like a good piece of schlock.
Tarantino’s contribution was far more sincere and tried harder to capture the actual spirit of a grindhouse flick. Death Proof is by far the worst of Tarantino’s output, but it was a far more earnest piece of filmmaking. Kurt Russell was a fantastic casting choice for the sadistic Stuntman Mike, but the rest of the cast was painfully one dimensional featuring some some truly cringe-worthy scenes.
The only parts of Grindhouse that slightly worked were the fake trailers. The stand out being the Edgar Wright directed “Don’t“. It achieves in one minute and twenty two seconds what the other three hours of Grindhouse cannot: truly capturing the best elements of the B movie experience.
There is a level of painful irony that two filmmakers who best embody the spirit of grindhouse cinema were incapable of creating an entertaining exploitation experience. Especially considering that individually, they had done it so many times before and since. Grindhouse, Inglourious Basterds, Sin City, Kill Bill, Machete… The list goes on and on. I think the cardinal sin with Grindhouse was that it tried too hard to be something more than just a movie. The filmmakers were shackled by the premise of creating a three hour experience, as if exploitation cinema could be packaged like a ride at Disneyland.
The truth is Grindhouse was a pretty miserable theatrical experience containing two very flawed, barely watchable movies. A failed experiment best left forgotten and an utter disappointment.
Anghus Houvouras is a North Carolina based writer and filmmaker. His latest work, the novel My Career Suicide Note, is available from Amazon.
