The Minute You Wake Up Dead, 2022.
Directed by Michael Mailer.
Starring Cole Hauser, Jaimie Alexander, Morgan Freeman, Darren Mann, Andrew Stevens, Ben VanderMey, Kenneth Farmer, John Dylan Atkins, Liann Pattison, James Harlon Palmer, Dee Lucroy Dempsey, David Dahlgren, and Tony DeMil.
SYNOPSIS:
A stockbroker in a small southern town gets involved in an insurance scam with a next-door neighbor that leads to multiple murders.
“Where will you be the minute you wake up dead?”
An unknown caller repeatedly makes that vague threat throughout the appropriately titled The Minute You Wake Up Dead, which concerns a small-town businessman dealing with backlash from its residents for a bad stock advice tip that relied on a merger between two companies, one that ultimately did not go through. Cole Hauser’s Russ takes the advice of diner waitress Delaine (Jamie Alexander) and alerts Sheriff Thurmond Fowler (a relaxed Morgan Freeman with one or two amusing lines) of the situation, who doesn’t take the calls seriously.
Meanwhile, Russ also has an undefined relationship with next-door neighbor Delaine, who invites him to dinner alongside her father, now free from cancer. There is some offscreen lovemaking, as Delaine, the prototypical prettiest woman in town that never got to escape and move on to bigger and better things, offers moral and emotional support. The next night, a murder attempt presumably intended for Russ fails, as the killer enters the wrong home and shoots Delaine’s father dead.
Some credit goes to director Michael Mailer (co-writing alongside Timothy Holland) for not trying to hide the obvious from the audience for too long. It’s clear early on that Delaine is in cahoots with the killer (something that Jamie Alexander relishes with her performance) to collect insurance from her father. The issue is that from there, the story gets stuck waiting for these boring characters to catch up, while Delaine and the dimwitted murderous Lucius (Darren Mann) wait around for the money to pay back certain debts to criminals that one presumes the local law enforcement would look into more at the start of this investigation, but apparently not.
The solution then turns out to be doubling down on twists, with a narrative that consistently shifts perspectives while spinning into gears into something wholly absurd that still isn’t entertaining due to its dull execution (there are some of the least thrilling car chases ever put to screen). None of this is helped by the jarring creative decision to open in medias res with a sequence that more or less gives away a huge chunk of the final act. Again, it means that in an already mundane thriller, The Minute You Wake Up Dead is mostly an exercise in sitting around until our knowledge of the story aligns with the characters’.
None of these characters are particularly likable, which would be fine if they had some depth and the film’s constant religious musings on the nature of sins and sinners amounted to anything thought-provoking. As a result, there’s also no reason to care or get invested in what happens to any of these shady people driven by greed or finding a safety net for their failed business ventures.
Turning on The Minute You Wake Up Dead is a mistake one realizes the minute one does so. So where will you be the minute you wake up dead? Hopefully not still looking at the screen while this plays. If anything, waking up would be a curse.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
