Meet the Blacks, 2016.
Directed by Deon Taylor.
Starring Mike Epps, Zulay Henao, Alex Henderson, Bresha Webb, Paul Mooney, Lil Duval, Charlie Murphy, Andrew Bachelor, Lavell Crawford, Gary Owen, Perez Hilton, Mike Tyson, and George Lopez.
SYNOPSIS:
As Carl Black gets the opportunity to move his family out of Chicago in hope of a better life, their arrival in Beverly Hills is timed with that city’s annual purge, where all crime is legal for twelve hours.
Whenever one begins to pick apart The Purge‘s world where crime is at an all-time low thanks to the titular event where all illegal activities are free game for one night, it admittedly does become a load of nonsense that crumbles logically and thematically. With that said, the movie does actually make for great material to spoof. The problem is that we live in a generation where parodies often result in some of the laziest, terrible comedy put to screen, and surprising no one, Meet the Blacks is no exception.
The only question left is simply how bad is it, to which I have to say, very, very awful. It is worse than Dirty Grandpa and Fifty Shades of Black combined. Without a shadow of a doubt, Meet the Blacks is one of the worst movies this year so far, hell, it might be one of the worst movies of all time. There isn’t one funny line of dialogue or gag in its entire 93 minute running time.
There is a scene towards the beginning where the President of the United States of America delivers a public service announcement (played by George Lopez of all people), where he rambles on and on about various celebrities he is going to kill, but the real punchline the filmmakers (then again, this movie is so bad they don’t even deserve to be referred to as filmmakers, but rather dudes with crayons and cameras) are going for is that his name is El Bama. Seriously? Also, as someone who is often very lenient on George Lopez, usually finding his hyperactive personality endearing, his presence here is flat-out garbage, just like the rest of the movie.
It feels like there was literally no script for Meet the Blacks; most of it is just Mike Epps dealing with his unlikable family and various home invaders, all through the lens of tired stereotypes, racist material, and mean-spirited family humor. Naturally, the comedy goes the obvious route of a black family being the black sheep of a privileged, predominately white neighborhood like Beverly Hills, meaning everyone is gunning for them come purge night. The movie also seems to imply that African-Americans should not improve their living conditions, but just stick around crime-ridden neighborhoods, because none of them would fit in or know how to socialize with upper-class white people, or something. The movie goes as far to make this point by hammering home that a black family living in Beverly Hills is somehow more dangerous than them living in urban Chicago.
Anyway, there is also a cousin in the movie played by some Kevin Hart impostor. Now here’s the thing, I actually like Kevin Hart, so I can’t even imagine what people who already hate him would think of this aggressively annoying character on display. He acts like Kevin Hart, walks like Kevin Hart, talks like Kevin Hart, failing everything, and is essentially just here, because I’m assuming the real deal didn’t want to lower himself by participating in this trash. That’s how you know when you have made something catastrophically terrible; freaking Kevin Hart, the black man in Hollywood that all races and cultures gravitate to as he pumps out 42 comedies a year, probably said no to this crap.
Moving on with the rest of the supporting cast, there is a typical attractive blonde bombshell Latina wife, a teenage son that thinks he is a vampire, and a daughter sneaking around with a boyfriend her father clearly disapproves of her being around. Hey, what do you know, for the most part it is The Purge, just exaggerated to the point where the spoof is the polar opposite of hilarious. Even the mansion itself The Blacks live in feels like a room for room re-creation.
There are also some cameos from Charlie Murphy and Mike Tyson, but even they can’t bring some fun to the experience. This movie might be the lowest point of Mike Tyson’s life, and he’s had quite the history. Charlie Murphy’s character is clearly laid out in the narrative to be the primary antagonist, except the movie does nothing with him really, instead opting for 500 other irrelevant characters to storm the property going in for the kill. The reason is that Meet the Blacks ends with a “to be continued”graphic”. Please do not go see this movie and make it a commercial success, because I’m already dreading writing about a sequel.
Meet the Blacks is a sick and twisted cinematic April Fools prank; it’s absolutely shocking that this is a real movie you can purchase a ticket for and watch.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★
Robert Kojder – Chief Film Critic of Flickering Myth. Check here for new reviews weekly, friend me on Facebook, follow my Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
