Cold Wallet, 2024.
Directed by Cutter Hodierne.
Starring Raúl Castillo, Melonie Diaz, Tony Cavalero, Josh Brener, and Zoe Winters.
SYNOPSIS:
A team of Redditors lose everything after a cryptocurrency scam leads them to plot to kidnap the “financial influencer” who screwed them over.
Within the opening moments of director Cutter Hodierne’s Cold Wallet, the film drops titles that say “Steven Soderbergh presents” and “Based on a slightly true story.” Those proclamations seem to promise that an intriguing thriller is on the horizon. Unfortunately, Hodierne’s film involving cryptocurrency scams and amateur robbers never quite takes off.
Raúl Castillo stars as Billy in Cold Wallet. He falls for the get-rich-quick allure found on a cryptocurrency exchange site called Tulip. After the head of the site, Charles Hegel (Josh Brener), is suddenly announced dead, all of the accounts on Tulip crash and the users are left with zero balances.
Billy was relying on the funds on Tulip to buy a house and be there for his daughter more. With those goals in mind, he agrees to help a fellow Redditor named Eva (Melonie Diaz). She believes that Hegel is still alive and hiding out in a remote mansion. Eva wants to force Hegel into returning the stolen funds to her, Billy, and others. Billy’s spiritual friend Dom (Tony Cavalero) joins the two on their mission, but of course things go wrong for the three.
Written by John Hibey, Cold Wallet features a screenplay with a rich-versus-poor plot that goes down obvious routes and contains stilted dialogue. The trio of robbers constantly make stupid decisions, from driving a bright red van to Hegel’s snowy property to saying “we have guns” to their opponent instead of using the weapons as an element of surprise. Characters also mention Robin Hood and throw out clunky lines like “You stole from the wrong subReddit, motherfu**er!” and “You’re one of us now.”
The acting ranges from serviceable to flat. Brener tries to give some energy to Hegel as he manipulates his three kidnappers, but the actor doesn’t get enough to do. Castillo has one effective scene involving Billy crying on a video call. The rest of the film could have used more emotional scenes such as this, but it instead falls back on cheap thrills (even using a whistling teapot for suspense in one scene).
Hodierne’s film looks polished, but there’s little personality to the filmmaking. The inside of Hegel’s mansion has open halls and mounted animal heads, and the property is full of snow and woods. These elements add some character, but they only occasionally push tension and atmosphere.
A few exciting moments are delivered in the third act. The characters also have believable goals and different personality traits throughout. But such elements aren’t enough. Cold Wallet is never unwatchable, but it’s ultimately a bland thriller about the dangers of cryptocurrency.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Daniel Rester is a freelance film critic and a member of the Hollywood Creative Alliance. He holds a bachelor’s degree with a double major in Film/TV and Emerging Media and Digital Arts.
