Unlocked, 2017.
Directed by Michael Apted.
Starring Noomi Rapace, Orlando Bloom, Toni Collette, Michael Douglas and John Malkovich.
SYNOPSIS:
Former CIA interrogator Alice (Noomi Rapace) is working undercover in a London community centre. She’s reluctant to go back to her old job because of her failure to “unlock” a suspect, which resulted in terrorist attack which killed dozens of innocent people. But the apparent prospect of a chemical attack on London draws her back in – under false pretences. Now she has to track down who’s really behind it.
Just a few minutes into Michael Apted’s Unlocked, a terrible cloud of deja vu descends. We’ve been here time and time again, but this time familiarity doesn’t just breed contempt, it does nothing to make the film memorable. The sad truth about the latest from one of Britain’s best directors is that it’s forgettable, sub-Spooks tosh.
On paper, it has plenty going for it. Apted for one, even though of late he’s been concentrating on TV (Ray Donovan, Masters Of Sex) rather than movies. Before that, he’d mixed feature films – goodies like Gorillas In The Mist (1988) and Thunderheart (1992) – with documentaries. And he’s probably best known of all for the TV documentary series that started with 7 Up! in 1964 and has since returned every seven years to see how the lives of the people involved have changed and developed. There’s a decent enough cast as well – Noomi Rapace, Orlando Bloom and Toni Collette are joined by John Malkovich and Michael Douglas to add a bit of Hollywood appeal.
From her expression, Rapace knows all too well that she’s tangled up in a mess of a film, and her constantly sour look gives away what she thinks of it. Anybody would think she’d been weaned on a pickle. And, although the poster might indicate that Orlando Bloom is her sidekick for the duration of the film, don’t believe a word of it. His is very much a supporting role, and he has to be the least convincing former Marine you’ve ever seen. Then there’s Michael Douglas and his repeated references to his age: when he describes himself as “being too old for this shit”, all you can do is nod in agreement. Only John Malkovich attempts to breathe some life into the leaden dialogue, but what he does is to go right over the top. At least it’s a relief from the infantile rubbish that’s served up when he’s not on-screen.
So what exactly is wrong with Unlocked? For starters, it’s highly derivative, looking like the movie version of a TV series, one that’s been stretched to the mandatory ninety minutes. If it wasn’t so bad, you’d think it was a parody. Perhaps Malkovich has the right approach after all. The storyline is just another bog standard spy yarn, making use of the current terrorist concerns but just exploiting it for its own ends. Apparently, the script was on the 2008 Blacklist as one of the most liked screenplays that didn’t get made that year. It should have stayed where it was.
For action, read gunfire, because that’s pretty much all there is. No suspense, no tension, because it’s all so predictable and we couldn’t give a monkeys about any of the characters. Douglas, Collette, Bloom, Rapace and Malkovich don’t stand a cat in hell’s chance, despite their skills and experience. They must have taken the money and scarpered PDQ.
We’ve been here before, over and over, and we know it. And we don’t need to be here again. Forget Unlocked (it’s not difficult). Just lock it up and throw away the key.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ / Movie: ★ ★
Freda Cooper – Follow me on Twitter, check out my movie blog and listen to my podcast, Talking Pictures.
