The Equalizer, 2014.
Directed by Antoine Fuqua.
Starring Denzel Washington, Chloe Grace Moretz, Marton Csokas, David Meunier, Haley Bennett, Bill Pullman, Melissa Leo, David Harbour, and Robert Wahlberg.
SYNOPSIS:
A man believes he has put his mysterious past behind him and has dedicated himself to beginning a new, quiet life. But when he meets a young girl under the control of ultra-violent Russian gangsters, he can’t stand idly by – he has to help her.
Maybe a decade ago The Equalizer would matter. It doesn’t. Denzel Washington stars as Robert McCall, an everyman with a very special set of skills-or is that Taken. Having befriended a young prostitute, he goes on a rampage in order to protect her safety-or is that Taxi Driver. In truth, there is little to praise. Tedious action set-pieces are stretched over a quite extraordinary 131 minute running time as Washington aimlessly wanders with a drill and a very special set of skills-fucking Taken again.
Any charm evident in Washington’s performance is undermined by a lacklustre script and Denzel looking as if he just stepped out of bed. The ever reliable Chloe Grace Moretz is relegated to a plot device, forced into a role defined by a wig and a slice of cake. The villains exist in the school of Anonymous Easter European Probably Russian Henchmen With Zero Skill. Like Taken, but Russian.
Like Taken isn’t something to be proud of. At least in Neeson’s crass B-Movie actioner, the film surrounding him is aware of its innate silliness. The Equalizer takes itself far too seriously for the audience to enjoy it and during the rare moments of humour, it protrudes awkwardly outwards. Less funny, more ugly.
The stand out set-piece, a witty, Sherlock Holmes-esque moment would have lifted the film to at least somewhat enjoyable if it wasn’t fisted into the trailer to appease the absence of anything to truly please the audience. The Equalizer is horribly inoffensive. A film of tedious set-pieces, characterless, fleshy mouthpieces and villains with zero threat to them.
Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★/ Movie: ★ ★
Thomas Harris
Originally published September 26, 2014. Updated April 15, 2018.
